The Long & Short of It: We are Becoming Parents

04/21/2011

You read that right the other day (if you made it all the way to the last line), Jason and I are becoming foster parents. I feel the need to explain why we’re doing this crazy thing. It’s not because we can’t have kids biologically or that we’re impatient with trying (though that might be a valid reason for some people.) It’s not because we want to adopt and becoming foster parents is an easier and cheaper way to do it (though it is definitely cheaper and in some ways might be easier.) Our reason is ultimately because God has called us to do this. He has put it heavily on our hearts the past few months and has made it clear that this is His plan for us. We probably will have kids biologically some day. We probably will adopt one day. But today, we are moving down the path of becoming foster parents.

Our pastor Lindell Cooley often says God can’t steer a parked car. Jason and I have talked about adoption occasionally over the last decade but this past year we started researching it and talking about it more. Through online exploration we found our way to foster care and I felt a new door creak open in my heart, revealing a passion God had been quietly working on for many years. We talked about it, prayed about it and took the first step of faith by calling around to the local foster care agencies to find out where we’d be a good fit and how to get started. The car moved into drive and God has been steering it ever since. It’s picking up momentum and we’re fully trusting Father that it’s going to be an exciting, amazing ride, and though scary at times, we know He is in control and lovingly directing us.

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Here’s how it works, in case you’re as unfamiliar with the foster care system as we were a few months ago. When child abuse or neglect is discovered kids are removed from their parents and taken into state custody. The state makes every effort to locate another family member or family friend who can care for the kids. If no family member can be found, the kids will be placed with foster parents who are licensed and trained by the state. The goal in almost all cases is for the kids to eventually be reunified with their birthparents. The birthparents are given an outline of the aspects of their lives that need to get in order over a certain timeline so they can get their kids back. There is a real ministry opportunity for foster parents to build relationships with birthparents to encourage them and cheer them on towards restoration of their family. A judge with the guidance of case workers and lawyers will determine if and when the kids can be returned to their birthparents. If the parents are unable or unwilling to comply with the courts, sometimes their parental rights are terminated. (Around 25% of the time.) At that point, the children become legally free to adopt and the state tries to find a permanent home for them. The foster parents are typically the first choice if they are willing to adopt because the kids already have formed healthy, loving attachments there.

Our plans are to open our home up to a child or sibling set of 2 (they try really hard to keep siblings together) up to age 5. We understand and support that the goal in most cases is for the kids to be reunified with their parents. However, if we are caring for any kids who become adoptable, we will likely adopt them. The state covers all costs for adoption and offers foster parents a daily stipend to assist with costs for child care (food, clothing, medical expenses, etc.) There is minimal monetary cost to us through this process but the potential emotional cost is high. We have 3 more weeks of training, then 30 days or so of home studies. We should be certified and can take our first placement by sometime in June.

The most common reason I hear for why someone says they could never be  foster parent is that it would hurt too much to fall in love with a child and then have to let him or her go. I know it’s true. It will hurt. It will probably tear our hearts out. It might just kill us. Maybe everyday. I’m pretty sure that’s God’s plan. Because the more we die, the more He can live in us and through us. These kids need the kind of unconditional love, acceptance, healing, restoration, patience, forgiveness and joy that we, in our human limitations, cannot offer. But God can. He is more than able to take care of His babies. He will take care of these dear little ones. He will take care of us. He will take care of you.

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How you can help:

Pray for us. We’ll take all the strength, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, energy, unity, etc. that God is willing to pour out.

Pray for the kids. There are approx. 9,000 kids in foster care in Tennessee right now. And probably many more who are in abusive situations that have not yet been reported. Pray for their safety and protection. Pray for their salvation. Pray that they would be moved to a better situation. Pray against fear, bitterness, lies from the enemy.

Pray for the parents. Pray for wisdom and good decisions, for restoration and salvation. Pray for humility to ask for help and resources to meet their needs and their kids needs.

Pray for more foster and adoptive parents. There are kids here in Tennessee and every state, babies not yet born all across the US, and children all around the world who need homes. I can’t wait for the day when there are waiting lists of foster parents in this country because there are more safe homes ready to accept children than there are hurting kids who need loving parents. I believe it will happen someday. I’ve heard a statistic that if 1 family out of every Christian church in the United States would foster children, there would be no more kids waiting for homes in this country.

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Will this affect my blog? Yes. How—I’m not sure yet. Even though my blog tagline is “musings on a life inspired by art, faith and family” I realize most of my posts are home related. Foster parenting weighs heavier on the faith and family side of things, however art is infused through every aspect of our lives and our home is our favorite canvas. For now, I’m planning on writing about our foster parenting journey at least once a week. We’re currently in the rapid-pace process of education and training, going to appointments, and filling out stacks of paperwork. We are also in hyper-nesting mode preparing our home with projects (like the chalkboard door, repainting the nightstand, finishing up the fence) and researching and shopping for kid stuff (like strollers, cribs, beds, car seats, toys). So I’ve got plenty of bloggy material, is what I’m saying. If you’d like to hear more or less about our foster parenting adventure, please let me know in the comment section below.

(Image above is from Petit Collage. I won a gift certificate for the shop from Design Mom last year and got this alphabet poster among other things.)

10 Comments | Faith, Family, Family: Foster Parenting, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

A Room in My Heart

04/14/2011

Written originally on 3-17-11

I love how God communicates to his children. Sometimes He uses metaphors to bring revelation—sudden, clear understanding—to a complicated situation.

…

I read every comment that’s posted on my blog. Sometimes a new commenter catches my attention and I see a link posted back to his or her blog. Usually they are other similar home blogs. A few months ago I got a comment from my now BF (blog friend, hehe) K. Her blog name piqued my interest so I clicked on it. When I finally had the courage to write K an email a few weeks later, after spending hours reading her family’s story, I told her that finding her blog felt like God was opening a new door in my heart.

It’s become more and more clear that God is leading Jason and I into a new phase of our lives, a new adventure that will be exciting, difficult, wonderful, horrible and more important that anything we’ve ever done. I’ve been looking for God’s confirmation and guidance. This morning (3-17-11) He gave me a vision of what’s behind that door.

My God is a creator, a builder, an artist. It’s no surprise that He made his children also to be designers and inventors. And it’s also no surprise that He would use mid-century modern interior design—my hobby, (my specialty?), to speak to me about what He’s doing in my life right now. The current state of my heart is a result of nearly 27 years of building, designing, rearranging, decorating, spring cleaning and upgrading all done by the Master Designer. There are many different rooms, different dimensions that are purposeful and together form a unique house unlike any other. My heart.

Behind the newly discovered door is a room. The room was formed when I was a child. Back then it was just an empty shell. The structure was there but I had no idea what it’s purpose would be. Had I opened this door too soon I wouldn’t have made any sense of it; it wasn’t ready yet. In recent years, God has started filling that room up with furniture. He’s a collector. Some of the pieces in the room are vintage, sturdy, time-tested and reliable. Some of the pieces are new, never-used, and in perfect condition. The Master Designer pulls all the artful pieces together into one cohesive room, a space with a specific purpose, a beautiful mix of old and new.

When I cracked opened this door a few weeks ago and peaked into the room (figuratively…follow me?), my heart leapt! Where had this room come from? I hadn’t known it was here! My Father, who delights in giving good gifts to His children and who conceals matters for the joy of His kids finding them, had created a surprise for me. A dramatic room reveal. And yet, stepping into the room, I started to remember bits from my past. Yes, I remember when this room was built. I remember the time that piece was added, and that one. Yet, I had been completely oblivious to the beautifully designed space my Father was making in my heart.

This place in my heart is not for me, though. God has some specific people planned for it. I don’t know them yet but I long for them. Did you know you could miss someone you’ve never met? I long for them to fill this lovely room with their energy and joy. I, just like my Father, look forward to revealing this beautiful room to my future children. I long to see the delight on their faces when they discover what has already been created specifically for them, a place that no one can take from them, a place that’s safe and bright, a mix of past and present, a place to grow.

Jason and I also have a physical equivalent of this room in our house. It’s purpose is not clearly defined yet. It was an office, a guest room and now it’s a storage room. We call it the spare room. But, we have plans for this room. Design ideas. A mix of old and new. A safe, relaxing, functional and creative space for some littlies we only dream about.

Have I confused the heck out of you yet? Here’s the B&W:
Jason and I are becoming certified as foster parents!

20 Comments | Art, Art: interior design, Art: kids room, Faith, Family, Family: Foster Parenting | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Phone Photo Friday

04/01/2011

I’m trying out a new app on my Droid called Retro Camera.

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Posted by mahlbrandt

CBB 3.0 – Update (Framed, Roofed & Closed)

03/29/2011

Our friends’ home building project is moving right along. (I’m way behind on updates, sorry!) Since the last time I updated, the walls have been framed, the metal roof added, and the exterior walls have been closed up:

Nice high, sloped ceilings. 9′ in the front half of the house, up to 12′ here in the back of the house.

I love how the house looks from the back. That beautiful deck looks out over Shelby Park where we can sit to watch the tides roll in next time we have a flood. Just kidding. But we will definitely be spending a lot of time under that sloped roof. I heard a rumor that Leila and J might even be installing an outdoor TV and surround sound stereo system out there…

The front of the house looks… well…  I think it’ll look great once the stairs and landscaping are added.

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Click CBB 3.0 under the “FILE UNDER” menu on the right to see all the updates on this house.

1 Comment | Art, Art: CBB 3.0, Art: interior design, Art: modern design, Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends | Tagged: | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

On the Precipice

03/24/2011

Have you ever been on the brink of something huge and felt simultaneously excited and inadequate? A couple weeks ago Jason and I made an important decision about our future. I feel without a doubt that it’s the direction God is leading us — it’s something that’s been in our hearts for a long time but lately has been stirred up to the point that we can’t ignore it. Immediately after the decision was vocalized and we were in unity about it, I started getting overwhelmed with fears about my shortcomings and worrying whether or not this is something we’d be able to pull off. As Christ-followers, we recognize this as a spiritual attack. Obedience with passion and excitement to move forward is met with resistance in the form of fears and concerns. I tossed and turned that night, wrestling with my thoughts.

The next morning, I cracked open my short daily devotional book, Jesus Calling. It is a 2 minute read of encouraging words from the prayer journal of missionary Sarah Young. What it said on March 11 is exactly what I needed to hear that morning to squelch the burning feelings of inadequacy that had plagued me the night before:

“Walk by faith, not by sight. As you take steps of faith, depending on Me, I will show you how much I can do for you. If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. When I gave you My spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength. Thats why it is wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but Mine, which is limitless. By walking close to Me, you can accomplish My purposes in My strength.” (based on 2 Cor 5:7 and Gal 5:25)

I’m sharing this hoping it will encourage someone else as much as it did me (not just to make you wonder what’s going on with us.) I can’t reveal what it is yet; for now we’re still holding it close as we figure out the next steps. (Hint: I’m not pregnant. I know some of you were thinking that.) If God has put you on a precipice with a view of what’s ahead, be strong and courageous! Though I may not be capable of what will be required of me, I know that He is with me and He will make me able.

4 Comments | Faith, Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends, Family: Me | Tagged: , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Phone Photo Friday

03/18/2011

My husband is pretty awesome!

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Posted by mahlbrandt

Swedes Abroad

03/15/2011

This weekend we had the pleasure of hosting my distant cousin Marcus and his girlfriend Petra from Sweden. They’re in the middle of a 7 week vacation around North America: NYC, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Toronto, Nashville, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Los Angeles, Hawaii, Cuba, Miami and then back to Sweden. Quite a busy adventure!

My parents picked them up from the airport on Friday afternoon and took them to Centennial Park to see the Parthenon. After that they went to the Nashville Farmers Market for lunch and back to my parents house to rest for a bit. Jason and I met them for dinner at Allium, a delicious new neighborhood favorite with a great view of downtown. After dinner Jason and I took Marcus and Petra downtown Nashville to see the crazy neon signs from the bars, hear music of all different styles pouring out of every other doorway, get bombarded by the crowded streets and eventually end up at Big Bang Dueling Piano Bar. The music was pretty good and a variety of pop music from Elton John to Jason Mraz to Ben Folds. It was good until it got crude. We didn’t stay long as the Swedes were tired and a bit overwhelmed.

Saturday morning my parents brought Marcus and Petra over to our house for a quick tour and some pictures.

After a Starbucks stop we went to the Ryman Auditorium for a tour which was quite interesting. The auditorium was originally built to house revival services before becoming the home of the Grand Ole Opry. Eventually the Opry moved to another venue and the auditorium was renovated by the Gaylord Entertainment and now is the venue of everyone from One Republic (who played there on Sunday night) to Kelly Clarkson to Jonny Lang to Vince Gill. Jason and I saw Dave Brubeck perform there 6 or 7 years ago.

From there we went to Hatch Show Print, Nashville’s historic letterpress shop where all the great country music concert posters were printed back in the day and where most of Nashville’s biggest concerts still have their posters printed today. As a graphic designer this is always one of my favorite stops.

We had to stop in one of the many boot stores downtown. Marcus wanted to try some on just for a picture. Meanwhile, mom and I kept seeing some that we actually liked. I’ve never owned a pair of cowboy boots but I think if I spent enough time in here I could be convinced. This particular store, Boot Country, is Buy 1 Pair, Get 2 Free. Of course, all the ones I really liked were in the $275-399 range. Fun to look anyway.

After lunch at Piranha (which took forever but was good), we walked out over the pedestrian bridge to get a good look at downtown.

We walked along the path of the Music City Walk of Fame on our way to the Country Music Hall of Fame. The hall included lots of facts, outfits and instruments of lots of country musicians that none of us really cared about. Turned out it wasn’t really worth the $20/person admission for us. We all agreed we enjoyed the Ryman more. Serious country fans might disagree.

After that it was back to my parents house for naps and rest before my dad’s birthday dinner and my mama’s yummy homemade cheesecake for dessert. We had planned to go to dinner at Pucketts Grocery where a country band was performing but we were all too pooped. We ended up just visiting for the rest of the evening. It was a fun weekend and I’m so glad Marcus and Petra made a stop in Nashville on their busy vacation. Did I mention we had perfect weather? Sunny and highs in the upper 60s both days. Jason will most likely be going back to Sweden again this summer and I’m hoping we can find a way for me to go along and tack on a few extra days in Stockholm to visit Marcus and Petra again, and hopefully Marcus’ brothers and parents too.

1 Comment | Art, Art: music, Family | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Phone Photo Friday

03/11/2011

4 Comments | Art, Art: Phone Photo Friday, Family, Family: Lucy | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Baby Mama Hospital Bag

03/10/2011

My sister-in-law Ginger, who is also one of my best friends, had a baby 2 weeks ago. (Happy 2 week Birthday, Eliza!) I have been thoroughly excited for mama and daddy these past 8 months anticipating the baby’s arrival. When Ginger mentioned that she was hoping to find some new pajamas to wear after the baby was born, I thought it might be nice to put together a hospital gift bag for the new mother – some things to do, something new to wear, some snacks. I couldn’t find much reference online for what to include so here’s what I came up with in case anyone else is looking for ideas for a gift for a pregnant friend:

• a cute tote bag, perhaps that can be used later for baby items (I added a wool felt “e” to a plain white bag)
• a fun kid/parenting/baby/craft magazine to flip through
• comfy pajamas; a nursing-friendly top
• snacks like fruit, granola bars, gatorade
• crossword puzzle or Mad Libs book (I ended up skipping this idea)
• A card or encouraging letter

The new mama seemed to really enjoy the gift. The pjs were reportedly soft and comfy and didn’t rub the C-section incision spot. She said the magazine also came in handy during some middle of the night sleepless times at the hospital.

Any other ideas of what a new mom could use during her hospital stay or the first days at home?

7 Comments | Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Trenched

03/08/2011

A while back Jason and I found this trench coat at the thrift store. It’s a vintage boys coat actually. A BIG boy’s coat. We knew it didn’t fit quite right but I was dreading the alteration project because I wasn’t sure where to start. I’ve altered pants (slimming the legs or bringing up the hem.) but never a complex jacket. Like the pose? He wanted to emphasize that he felt like a bum wearing the baggy, long trench coat.

After a little research in the form of a Google image search, we decided it was too long. It needed to hit above the knee. (Though you can find plenty of longer mens trench coats, too.) Even these coats were a little too long for Jason’s taste. After snipping off 10″ or so and sewing the hem, we realized it was still too wide. I took in the seam in the middle of the back (not so much that I’d have to redo any of the work across the shoulders), made the sleeves narrower and shorter, and removed the bottom button and closed up the button hole.

At this length it is probably more of a pea coat than a trench coat. All that matters to me is that Jason likes it. It was cheap, it’s vintage and now it fits great. Of course, as soon as I was done he started looking through the other coats in the closet to see what else I could make more fitted.

8 Comments | Art, Art: crafts, Art: fashion, Family, Family: Jason | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

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