The Importance of Date Nights

11/02/2011

About a week after Jason and I became parents to Ladybug, my mom offered to babysit so we could go out. It seemed too soon to me, unnecessary even. After all, we had over 8 years of date nights as a childless couple. Jason and I discussed it and decided we would accept the offer. It turned out to be a really rich time for us to catch up and give each other focused attention over dinner without concerning ourselves with a food-flinging toddler.

My mama told me, “The most important thing you can do for your children is to love your spouse.” Date nights are really important.

Saturday night Jason and I got to go on our first date night since the arrival of Precious, 6 weeks ago now. We even planned ahead! We had a Living Social coupon for our favorite sushi place, RuSan’s—paid $15 for a $30 gift certificate. We both got salads with orange ginger, miso soup and fire cracker maki rolls (they’re too good to share) and another forgettable roll (unagi and avocado, I think.) Service was quick, thankfully, because we were rushing to get to a movie. We saw The Help. Excellent movie. We only go to the movie theater a few times a year and this one felt worth the $13.00. Yeah, that’s right we got discounted movie tickets through  my work. I should also mention that we’re sly about finding free street parking in the city. I remembered to wear boots instead of heels so I don’t mind walking a couple blocks. Our entire date night: dinner at a favorite restaurant and a movie, cost just $37. Not bad at all for an indulgent night out. Babysitting was free. Thanks mom and dad!

Do you go on date nights? Even before becoming parents Jason and I made a point of going on a date night at least once a month. We’re not extravagant but the time set apart together is really good for our marriage.

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Posted by mahlbrandt

Hundley Adoption Update

11/01/2011

It’s time for an update on our friends Jeremy and Leila’s adoption story. Straight from Jeremy’s facebook wall on Wednesday:

“Hundley Adoption Update: Leila attended the doctor visit with the birthmother on Monday. They did an ultrasound and we got to see his face! He’s nearly 8 lbs and though a bit crowded in there, looks good. This time next week we’ll be at the hospital. WOW. On the funding side, we are at 83% of our goal! If you want to help with our final “push,” please post, tweet, or email the link to our blog: www.HundleyComingHome.blogspot.com. A massive THANK YOU to everyone involved. Just amazing.”

Baby boy, whom they’re planning to name Jaron Isaac, is due today! I can’t wait to meet him and see this sweet couple become parents. They’re going to make a wonderful family. Two Saturdays ago we threw a big baby shower for them at their new home. Apparently I wasn’t very strategic about my photos. I don’t have one of Leila and I have to skip all the ones that have Precious in them. Here are a few pictures from before the party started:

The party theme was “Rock Your Diaper Off!” since we were urging people to bring diapers along with or instead of a traditional gift. There was all kind of yummy food including an ice cream sundae bar, guitar cake, drum cupcakes, punch, cheese, dips, quiches, etc.

I’m hoping Leila’s sister-in-law Mikala got better pictures than me.

That’s my niece Eliza, Leila’s brother Nate and my sister-in-law Ginger.

We had a station set up where kids could decorate bibs and burp cloths with fabric markers. Max did a great job and got some help from his dad Grant.

Jeremy getting lots of practice with Eliza. Baby E loves that plastic chicken. It’s so cute.

We also had a picture matte for people to sign as a guest book and a box of thank you card for guests to write their addresses on the envelopes. After the gifts were opened we had a relay race outside that included setting up an unfamiliar stroller, strapping in a pumpkin, racing around cones, strapping the pumpkin into a car seat, running with it while picking up toys, etc. It was a hoot. I don’t have any pictures because I was in it. Jason and I competed against Leila and Jeremy and friends Grant and Brooke. Leila and Jeremy won. It was a very fun afternoon and this couple is now LOADED with baby stuff. I’m pretty sure they have about 4x as much baby gear as we do and we have enough.

I can’t wait to meet baby Jaron later this week. Yay!

Update: whoops! It’s 5:30 pm and I just realized I never hit Publish on this post! Sorry it’s late. 

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Posted by mahlbrandt

3 months and 1 month

10/20/2011

It’s been a month since Precious*  was placed with us and she’s now 3 months old. (*not her real name, thank God.) It’s amazing to see how much she has changed in 1 month! Here are some things she’s doing now that she wasn’t doing a month ago:

• squealing

• conversing with “goos” (she’ll go back and forth with us for a while)

• holding her head up steadily

• rotating 90 degrees in her crib overnight

• sucking her thumb, usually her right thumb

• smiling at us from several feet away

• tracking us as we walk around the room

• saying “gee!” when she’s hungry

• sleeping all the way through the night (she hasn’t woken up for an early morning—5 or 6am—feeding in over a week)

• rolling over on to her side

• staying awake for a couple hours at a time

Precious is a wonderful baby. We couldn’t be more thrilled with her. Jason and I even think her sneezes (she sounds like she’s saying “achoogie”) and her rare cries (we call her “goat baby” because she as a vibrato) are the cutest things in the world. She is so easy-going. We give her a last bottle around 10pm (occasionally waking her up to do so) and she sleeps until 8:30 or 9am. When she wakes up she sucks on her hands and whines and complains a little bit but doesn’t cry. Once we finally get in to get her up, she’s all smiles…in no rush to eat. It seems like she just wakes up and she gets bored. Everywhere we take Precious people comment on how beautiful, happy or easy-going she is. She’s often sleeping through errands in her car seat or in a Moby wrap. She’s been to my office to hang out with me three times and all three times she’s had her big daily blow-out and stunk up the place. But she’s so adorable, no one can hold it against her. She’s being treated for thrush (which she had when she came to us) so we’re currently not using any pacifiers, sterilizing bottles everyday, and she’s on 2 medications. It’s a bit of an inconvenience but it’s clearing up well. Precious is such a joy to us. It’s truly a gift to get to be her mommy.

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Posted by mahlbrandt

Weekend in the Smokies

10/19/2011

Sorry for disappearing for a few days. Plates are spinning around here. Still. (And Merry-Go-Rounds.) Instead of formulating a thoughtful blog post, here is a recap of our weekend. Thursday afternoon Jason and Precious picked me up from work, we dropped off Lucy at his parent’s house, and we headed over to Pigeon Forge, TN where we stayed until Sunday night. Jason was playing a marathon weekend with Guy Penrod at Dollywood—3 concerts a day for 3 days in a row—and all the wives and children came along. There were 6 families in our party; 12 adults and 18 kids…most of which are Guy’s. They are such a fun and sweet bunch of people. Precious was definitely the center of attention through most of the weekend with everyone oohing and ahhing about how beautiful and easy-going she is. Seriously, she was a travel champ! One of Guy’s sons said, “I hope I have a baby just like her when I’m older” and insisted that she was THE most beautiful baby in the world. Another one of his boys said, “I can’t wait until I have my own baby someday,” while he was feeding her a bottle for me. She got so much love this weekend.

We also ate lot of good food. Uncle Guy got to snuggle Precious to sleep before the food came out at Cracker Barrel one night.

The shows at Dollywood were fun. Precious and I watched about half of them. Sometimes she watched, sometimes she slept on my lap, and sometimes she napped down in the dressing room.

We watched one of the shows from backstage while she was sleeping in a Moby wrap.

Speaking of Moby wrap, Jason was talked into trying it on while we were walking around going on rides. We got a pretty cute family picture of the three of us… I wish I could show you the whole picture. Maybe someday.

Speaking of someday… please continue praying about Precious’ situation. We are still uncertain about whether or not we will be given the first choice of adoption for her. There is someone else in the picture who is not legally kin but has a relationship with two of Precious’ half siblings. We’re basically competing with her—which is awkward—and we won’t know more until we have another team meeting and then ultimately a judge makes a decision…in a couple months? Then the earliest the adoption would be finalized would be in March or April. Either way she will be going to a good place but we’re crazy about her and would hate to let her go. Not without a fight, you can be sure.

4 Comments | Art, Art: music, Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends, Family: Foster Parenting, Family: Jason, Family: Me, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

A Precious Update

10/12/2011

I haven’t said much about the case of Precious, what we’re expecting to happen for her or how everything has been going. It’s been 3 weeks—is that all?!—and we’ve fallen completely, hopelessly in love with this little 13.5 pound bundle of slobbery smiles. I mentioned that a lot of sadness was stirred up initially as we realized how much we were still missing Ladybug. That has improved. We still think about her everyday and I’m sure we’ll always have a hole in our hearts from the chunk our first child took with us when she left. But we’re doing better.

There is some exciting news about Precious. She needs to be adopted! However, we’re not the for-sure top choice for her. All of the options have to be presented and ultimately a judge will make the decision about what he thinks is best for her. The decision is very “legal”… by that I mean, it’s not like the judge is going to look at who we are and compare that to someone else and decide who would be the best fit or be able to offer her the most ideal life. It’s more like “does this person have any stronger biological ties than this person” and “is there a necessary cause to move her out of the home she’s already in” and “does she already have a relationship with these people.” That’s my take on it anyway.

So… that’s exciting. And nerve-wracking. And it’s one of the precipices I was referring to on Monday. Sounds like there is a pretty good chance—75% maybe?—that we will have the opportunity to adopt her. Someone asked me the other day, “Are you ready for that?” which puzzles me a little bit. Are we ready for that? I don’t think adopting her is going to be any harder than fostering her… I mean, I have been fondly referring to foster parenting as “the torture program” lately. Fost-adopt parents please enlighten me… is parenting an adopted child harder than foster parenting? Is anything? Just kidding.

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Welcome to the Fam!

10/11/2011

I have a new niece! Her name is Iris Kathleen and she was born Sunday 10/9/11 at 4:31 pm weighing 6 lbs. 14 oz. I’m so happy for my sister Jess and her husband Jeff. I wish I didn’t have to wait until Thanksgiving to meet my adorable little niecey. She’s the first baby to be born among my siblings, which is super special.

Welcome to the family, Iris! Your Auntie Martina can’t wait to spoil you. 😉

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Posted by mahlbrandt

Winds of Change

10/10/2011

There is so much whirring around in my head but I can’t seem to organize any of it into a well packaged blog post.

There is everything and there is nothing.

Sorting through it is overwhelming.

I take a deep breath and keep going. Everyday.

One day at a time.

Looking too far ahead makes the butterflies in my tummy start flapping.

Reflecting on the past sometimes stirs up more pain than joy.

So I try my best to keep my head and my heart in today.

To be present.

To savor every moment I have with the people I love.

Last spring I wrote a post called On The Precipice as we were about to take the plunge into foster parenting. Right now, I feel like our toes are up to the edge of four different cliffs. It’s exciting times for our little family. And it’s a lot to take in. Jason’s mind is as full of spinning thoughts as mine…but it seems like when he’s pondering one thing, my brain is consumed with another. We’re doing our best to encourage and support each other. In some ways it feels like we’ve been disconnected lately with all that’s flooding in around us (or maybe just preoccupied) but at the same time, our foundation is as strong as ever and we’ve been holding each other up through each day. I’m so thankful to have my best friend right by my side.

It’s a strange season we’re in… or maybe it’s the change of seasons we’re feeling right now. Funny how the natural sometimes lines up with the spiritual. Driving to work through the park near our house one day last week, a shower of orange and yellow leaves rained down on my car as I drove under the trees. The beauty of it brought tears to my eyes. I love how God made the process of leavings dying into such a beautiful show.

(Image found through Google from here.)

3 Comments | Art, Art: God's creation, Faith, Family, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Floods, Thieves and Babies

10/06/2011

Remember the story of our friends and neighbors Jeremy and Leila who lost their house in the Nashville Flood of 2010? And then suffered another loss when their rented temporary home was burgarlized last Christmas? (Actually, I didn’t blog about that but it sucked.) Then they finally got to rebuild their dream house? Well, they have some exciting news… they’re adopting a baby!

I’ll be honest…I kind of hate the idea of fundraising for an adoption…maybe more so I hate that money is a road block for so many. But I also get it. It’s super expensive and there are a lot of people who understand the heart of adoption and want to help out in some way other than adopting a child themselves. Jeremy and Leila are a couple of the sweetest people we know. They’re quick to help others and slow to ask for help. They had planned to save and pay for this adoption all on their own but the 3 situations above have cut a painful chunk out of their savings. I know it’s very humbling for them to have to ask for help.

They finished their home study process just a few months ago and were anticipating a fairly long wait before they were matched with a birthmother. Last week they got a call that they were 1 of 2 top choices for a birthmother due in 2 months. They met her on Friday night. On Sunday night they got a call to inform them that she chose them, AND she was being admitted to the hospital with contractions, AND she’s actually due in just 1 month. WHOA! Talk about a whirlwind. Thankfully, the contractions were just Braxton Hicks and the bun is still in the oven. However, our friends now have just a few weeks to collect the funds they need (several $1000 more) before the baby is born. Baby boy will be full-term (37 weeks) next week so it could be any day now.

I know most of you probably don’t know J and Leila but I’m guessing a bunch of you have a place in your hearts for adoption and can sympathize with their crazy past year. Would you please pray for them… Pray that the finances come in in time, for peace and courage for them and the birthmother, for the baby boy to be born healthy at just the right time. And if you have it in your heart to take a step further, any little bit, even $5, could really help them out. More about their story and how to donate here.

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Posted by mahlbrandt

Weekend Getaway

10/05/2011

I hate that my best friend doesn’t live in Nashville anymore but at least it’s only a 4.5 hour drive to Cincinnati. Jason and I got permission to take Precious out of state with us for a short trip up to visit our dear friends last weekend. We got to hang out with these amazing kiddos:

… and their parents, too. 🙂

On Saturday morning we went to the Cincinnati Zoo. It was cold!

Precious slept against me (and kept me warm) in a Moby Wrap through most of the zoo, though she was awake long enough to check out the penguins.

We also saw giraffes, gorillas, monkeys, lions (awake!), a rhino, manatees, and this strange looking tortoise…

Traveling with a 2-month old went pretty smoothly. She’s so easy-going and pleasant.

4 Comments | Art, Art: God's creation, Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Rocker

10/03/2011

I was so excited that I have something to share that’s not related to foster care or babies… it’s actually home related and mid-century modern, too! Then I realized it is still very much related to foster care and babies. Oh well. I tried.

Last Monday night I emailed Jason a link and said, “Can I get this? I want to rock my babies.” He replied back, “Yes dear. You can rock your babies in that chair. Go for it. Sweet mama and wife, I love you!” A couple of clickety clicks later on my Amazon iPhone app and it was ordered. It arrived on Thursday. Talk about rockin’ service! It took no more than 5 minutes to assemble and is exactly what I was hoping for. A white plastic-shell Eames replica rocking chair for our kids room. Precious and I have been enjoying it.

PS. If you want to get a real deal Eames rocker, you can buy one through Herman Miller for $479.

6 Comments | Art, Art: Bedoom for Foster Kids, Art: interior design, Art: kids room, Art: mid-century design, Art: modern design, Family, Family: Foster Parenting | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

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