Our Love Story – 1:1

04/10/2012

I wasn’t sure if it would be of interest to anyone other than me, but this line I threw out got a couple of nibbles so, here we go…

I thought it would be fun to record Jason’s and my love story—at least the beginning of it—starting with when we met and fell in love back in 1999. This is part 1 of 6.

It was the spring of 1999 and I was lonely. I was finally through the three straining, painfully awkward middle school years and making my way into high school as a 9th grader. In the process, I had grown apart from my childhood best friend Michele—the one I did everything with and had sleepovers with every weekend, the one with which we were often mistaken for twins—or boys. From third grade until sixth grade we were inseparable. But then, at different middle schools, with different groups of friends, we got disconnected.

(Picture from Grand Canyon 1997 of my mom, me, Michele and my dad.)

I was growing a lot spiritually and spending a lot of time with friends from youth group, many of whom were older. As I thought about some of the seniors who would be graduating soon and going off to college, I was sad. But I got even more sad as I realized they weren’t really my friends. They were significantly older kids that I admired and who had mentored me, but they were in a different world than I was at 14 years old. I felt so alone.

I crawled into bed one night after youth group where we had prayed for the graduating class and said an informal goodbye (it was May and they wouldn’t actually be leaving until fall). I pulled open my journal and a package of colorful markers and I poured out my feelings on paper in the form of a prayer.”God, I want a new best friend.” Michele had been just what I needed from 8-12 and I craved a new friend to walk with me through my teen years, someone with the same beliefs and convictions as me, someone I could share my heart, my dreams and fears with, someone I could laugh with and cry with and grow with.

Then, I met Jason.

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Posted by mahlbrandt

I love love but I hate Valentine’s Day

02/14/2012

This is the first year that I completely, whole-heartedly am relieved that we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. And not just because Jason is out on tour. A few years ago he mentioned that he felt like the holiday was forced, putting unhealthy expectations on couples, becoming a competition, and setting a lot of people up for disappointment. We never really did much to celebrate the day—usually dinner at home to avoid the restaurants—and maybe a few candles, some chocolates, flowers, the usual. But we’ve moved away from that to not doing anything at all. I’m sure that sounds really cold and unromantic to some people. The truth is, we go on date nights several times a month, we show and tell how much we love each other everyday, we surprise each other with random gifts—we’re both very affirmed in our love and we have a healthy marriage. So take that, St. Valentine. Or Hallmark. Or whoever… And if I feel I’d enjoy some chocolates or fresh flowers in the house—GASP–I buy them! The random delivery of fresh flowers at work just because he knows I’m having a crappy day or the specialty chocolate from some exotic location just because he was thinking of me—those things mean way more to me than anything Jason has ever given to me on February 14.

Valentine’s Day IS a really important day for another reason, though. It’s my dear friend, Laren’s birthday! Precious says Happy Birthday, Aunt Laren! Fun fact: Laren and Precious both have heart shaped birthmarks.

3 Comments | Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends, Family: Jason, Family: Me, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

The Importance of Date Nights

11/02/2011

About a week after Jason and I became parents to Ladybug, my mom offered to babysit so we could go out. It seemed too soon to me, unnecessary even. After all, we had over 8 years of date nights as a childless couple. Jason and I discussed it and decided we would accept the offer. It turned out to be a really rich time for us to catch up and give each other focused attention over dinner without concerning ourselves with a food-flinging toddler.

My mama told me, “The most important thing you can do for your children is to love your spouse.” Date nights are really important.

Saturday night Jason and I got to go on our first date night since the arrival of Precious, 6 weeks ago now. We even planned ahead! We had a Living Social coupon for our favorite sushi place, RuSan’s—paid $15 for a $30 gift certificate. We both got salads with orange ginger, miso soup and fire cracker maki rolls (they’re too good to share) and another forgettable roll (unagi and avocado, I think.) Service was quick, thankfully, because we were rushing to get to a movie. We saw The Help. Excellent movie. We only go to the movie theater a few times a year and this one felt worth the $13.00. Yeah, that’s right we got discounted movie tickets through  my work. I should also mention that we’re sly about finding free street parking in the city. I remembered to wear boots instead of heels so I don’t mind walking a couple blocks. Our entire date night: dinner at a favorite restaurant and a movie, cost just $37. Not bad at all for an indulgent night out. Babysitting was free. Thanks mom and dad!

Do you go on date nights? Even before becoming parents Jason and I made a point of going on a date night at least once a month. We’re not extravagant but the time set apart together is really good for our marriage.

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Posted by mahlbrandt

Sweet Signs of Love

09/15/2011

God is very generous. I didn’t ask Him to give us a sign that Ladybug was supposed to be our first placement, our first daughter or to confirm the specialness of the day of her arrival. But He did.

First it was the pregnancy symptoms. I think I’ve made it clear in the past that I’m not trying to get pregnant. However, in the two weeks leading up to Ladybug’s arrival Jason and I were completely convinced that I was pregnant. Without going into detail here, let me just say there were things going on that don’t normally go on in my body. We were sure. An app on my phone was pretty sure too. It said 7/28/11 was Test Day. I woke up that morning and took a pregnancy test. It was negative. We were perplexed.

Later than night I was sure I wasn’t pregnant (AHEM) and I was wallowing in my own world of discomfort, reading Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman, when at 8:30 the phone rang. It was the same placement worker who had called Jason 4 days earlier and we missed the placement because he was on a plane. “I told you I had your number on speed dial,” she said. I suddenly forgot how crappy I was feeling as I sprung into hyper-nesting-mode, trying to make sure everything was in place to receive her in just 1 hour. If we hadn’t missed that first call, the placement worker wouldn’t have been able to reach either of us.

About a week after Ladybug’s arrival, I was back at work looking at my planner. I flipped back to July so I could write “Ladybug’s arrival” on July 28. I was shocked to see “Ladybug’s Due Date” already penciled in on July 28. Then I smiled. God. How funny that You would do that. I have a co-worker named Ladybug (L’s real name… work with me here) who had been pregnant. I emailed my co-worker, who had just given birth to a baby boy, to share the funny news with her. She responded back, “it really is funny how God works because my due date was actually the 29th.”

Ladybug’s due date was marked on my calendar…on test day, when we were convinced we were pregnant.

There were a few other little confirmations, too, though not as significant. Like that her birthday is Jason’s half birthday and some personality traits there were so much like me or so much like Jason that it was humorous to us.

The last surprise came a couple days after our goodbye. A sweet friend, Brooke, called to let me know that her husband was dropping off a gift on our back doorstep. When I got home, I found a vase of 10 bright pink Gerber daisies. I love daisies. I walked through the back door, set them on the counter and bust into tears as I remembered. The night Ladybug arrived at our house, she was carrying a fake hot pink Gerber daisy. The twisted stem had a sharp wire at the base so I tucked it away in her bag the next day. No one knew about that daisy except my parents and the placement worker who dropped her off (and who had given it to her.)

I’m not sure exactly what that means but I don’t believe it was a coincidence. It’s Ladybug’s flower. Maybe it means God is going to take her 1 twisted fake flower and multiply it into 10 living flowers. Maybe it means Ladybug was the first of 10 kids. (Ack! Jason came up with that idea.) Or maybe it was just a sweet reminder that God loves us. He knows what we’re going through, He cares and He weeps with us.

5 Comments | Faith, Family, Family: Foster Parenting, Family: Ladybug | Tagged: , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Not-The-Mama

08/03/2011

Jason is home. THANK GOD. He travels a lot for his career as a musician and I’m totally fine with that. I love that he gets to travel. However, becoming a foster parent and a parent for the first time while he was 4,000 miles away was not easy. After 3 days of carrying around a 25 lb. sweetie who loves to snuggle and needs lots of extra hugs these days, along with the up and down getting into and out of the crib, the high chair, the car seat, etc. my arms were killing me. I am so happy that Jason is home with his strong, sexy, man arms.

This is a strange way to become a parent, no doubt about that. We’re learning so much, having a lot of fun, and we’re pretty exhausted, too. Oh, and we’re still supposed to be earning a living too, right? My brother-in-law who just became a daddy in February promises that we’ll fall into a nice rhythm soon and be able to balance it all. I hope he’s right.

Regardless of the unusual circumstances, witnessing your spouse become a parent has got to be one of the coolest things ever. I could see his love and interest and excitement through their Skype interactions the first couple days but actually getting to see Jason scoop up this little girl and give her hugs and kisses was the sweetest thing. And to see her reach up to him, asking to be picked up and held in his secure arms was precious.

We don’t know a whole lot about little L’s family situation but the only relatives we’ve heard about are female, which leads us to assume she has never really experienced the love of a daddy. Another clue is that she keeps calling Jason “mama,” (which she is also calling me and my mom.) We keep saying, no that’s “papa.” And she says, “Papa.” But then if he walks out of the room, she calls out for him, “Mama!”

I’m so happy that Jason has been not just willing to fill in this gap for however long she’s ours, but that he is truly excited to be her dad. He’s excited to take her out to ice cream and to the park and to hold her hand while she’s toddling around. He’s happy to feed her and hold her as she’s falling asleep and to let her bury her face against his chest when she’s scared of a new situation. His desire to protect her stirs up a righteous anger, usually directed toward “the system” that would allow her to get bounced around from home to home.

Jason is doing an awesome job being a papa. I’m so proud of him for doing this, for agreeing to give himself so fully and to love someone so completely, knowing that she may be ripped away from us. And I say ripped away because even if we agree that her moving back with her original family is the best thing for her (and if we don’t agree, there isn’t much we can do about it…) it’s still going to be the most awful heart ripping pain we’ve ever experienced. We selfishly hope that she can stay with us longer… forever? We just don’t know right now. But more than anything, we want the best for her. We want her to have a hope and a future, a great life. We want her to always know that she is loved, precious, and wanted.

6 Comments | Family, Family: Foster Parenting, Family: Jason, Family: Ladybug, Family: Me | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Overdue

06/22/2011

Last year Jason and I celebrated 7 years of marriage and 11 years since our first date. It was our 7-11 year. I had been wanting to get some professional pictures done. It was time; we hadn’t had any done since our wedding. Sitting in front of a backdrop at a department store isn’t our thing so we commissioned our friend Beth Rose, who is an awesome photographer, to do some lifestyle portraits for us. And I had the perfect idea. A 7-Eleven photo shoot. I envisioned a local Slurpee selling gas station as our setting. Problem is, there aren’t ANY 7-Elevens in Nashville. None in Atlanta where we go to IKEA. None in Naples, FL where we went on vacation last year. None in Cincinnati where we frequently visit our friends. So I shelved the idea. Then, over Christmas we planned to visit my brother and sister-in-law in Emmaus, PA. Before our trip, I looked it up and sure enough, there is a 7-Eleven right near his house. I had a new solution: bring Slurpee cups back home and do the photo in Nashville in the spring. BR was game. (The cup designs exceeded my expectations!) I convinced myself that as long as we did the shoot before May, it was technically still our 7-11 year. But, I’m overdue in sharing these since we’re now absolutely in our 8-12 year. Ah well. But now that you know the back story, the cups will make sense.

(Cup-free pictures were posted here.)

I’m thinking of getting one of the three above (where the cups are prominent) blown up to poster size for something funky/different for the house. Leaning towards the 2nd from the bottom. Do you have a favorite?

All photos by Beth Rose Photography bethrose.com

5 Comments | Art, Art: modern design, Family, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

8 Years

06/14/2011

Happy Anniversary, Jason. You are my best friend, my biggest encourager, my rock. You make me laugh and feel loved like no one else. I think we’re a great team. Like peanut butter and jelly, you and me. I’m so glad to be by your side on this crazy adventure! I’ll forever be your wifey and you’ll always be my right hand man.

All photos by Beth Rose Photography bethrose.com

(One more photo and “8 Things We’ve Learned in 8 Year” here.)

A funny story about how we celebrated our anniversary will be coming tomorrow.


2 Comments | Art, Family, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

The Post-Valentine’s Day Anti-Valentine’s Day Post

02/16/2011

Jason and I decided to not celebrate Valentine’s Day this year. It’s one of those commercial holidays that really rubs us the wrong way. People in relationships are obligated to demonstrate their love through sweets, gifts and fancy dinners. It can seem really forced. Then, all the single people, ladies mostly, tend to feel unloved.

We decided to let each other off the hook this year. I much prefer surprises and random gifts and date nights, anyway. I do like chocolates and flowers so I bought a bouquet of white mums at the grocery store on Sunday (which I do occasionally) and Jason snagged some leftover chocolates and heart candies at the store yesterday—50% off! You know we like a bargain.

The real reason we’re anti-Valentine’s Day is because while dates and gifts and cards have their place, real love is displayed in day to day interactions with each other. Monday turned out to be a perfect example of how Jason demonstrates that loves me. We took my car in to the shop in the morning and my sweet man drove me to work and dealt with the mechanic for me. He picked me up from work early to take me to my eye doctor appointment. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see to drive home on a bright sunny day with dilated eyes so he happily drove me. There was a giant mocha Frappaccino waiting for me when I hopped in the car. Once we got home Jason made tacos for dinner and did most of the clean up. All without a single complaint. That, more than any flowers or chocolates ever could, shows me how much my husband cares for me. He proves it to me all the time. I feel very blessed.

(Sorry about the lousy picture. I got a new phone and I haven’t figured out how to get the pictures to my computer yet.)

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Posted by mahlbrandt

Love Suffers

09/06/2010

Love is risky. It requires vulnerability as we trust our hearts to another person, believing that he’ll take good care of it. But every person fails at one time or another. Failures from the ones dearest to us hurt the most, don’t they?

Believe me, I do my fair share of failing my husband, but the other day it was my heart that was aching from a misstep on his part. I decided to reread 1 Corinthians 13 as I was making a choice, subconsciously after 11 years, to love him still and trust him again with my bruised heart.

I think just about everyone has read or heard 1 Corinthians 13, “the love chapter,” at some point. It’s popular at weddings and it’s no wonder — it’s a beautiful passage. Verse 7 popped out at me. “[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Then I saw verse 4, “Love suffers long and is kind …” That sounds painful. Messy. Beautiful. Dangerous on one side and safe on the other side.

Much like the overwhelming feeling of joyful reunion that we would never experience without times of separation, love would not be the beautiful feeling that it is without the risk of pain.

I am thankful to have a husband who loves me well. When he slips up, he is careful to tenderly pick my heart back up, take it to the Healer of broken things and to lovingly hold it again, a little tighter than before. I hope that I do the same.

1 Comment | Faith, Family, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

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