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Easter 2012

04/12/2012

I had every intention of getting a photo of the three of us all dressed up for church on Easter…but it just didn’t happen. After church, we had lunch at Cheesecake factory with both sets of parents plus Jason’s brother Dan, our sister-in-law Ginger and Precious’ cousin Eliza.

These two couldn’t be more different but I hope they grow up to be great friends. This photo just cracks me up:

After we all had afternoon naps, it was time for a quick photo shoot of our beautiful baby girl. (Jason and I had already changed into our comfy clothes.)

These two have a special relationship. Jason can make her giggle and laugh more than anyone else. She says “Dada” 30x a day—that’s 30x more than any other word. He adores her. And she adores him. It’s almost like she knows she came THISCLOSE to growing up without a daddy, but he fought hard for her—we both did—and Father God did a big miracle for our family in allowing us to stay together.

3 Comments | Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends, Family: Jason, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: 2012, cousin, easter, Eliza, Family, Jason, precious | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

6 Month Familiversary

03/28/2012

Typically not long after a new baby is born at the hospital, a family photo is snapped. When a new child arrives through foster care, things aren’t so … picturesque. The night Precious came home was a bit chaotic. I called my sister-in-law Ginger before she arrived. “How much does a 2-month-old baby eat? And how often? What kind of bottle should we get? How much will she sleep? What’s a typical sleep schedule for a 2-month-old?” After the frenzy of questions and some encouragement from my sweet sister-friend, I bolted into a flurry of last minute nesting. I put a clean sheet on the crib, found a package of wipes and the box with infant clothes, set out blankets, found a nightlight. We had an hour to prepare. Once Precious was in our living room and the case worker was driving away, we fed her a bottle—she had come with one and a container of formula. My parents came by to meet her and see how they could help. We took off her cigarette-smokey sleep gown and put a clean shirt on her. It’s one Jason and I had purchased a full year before Precious was born, just because it was cute with two little birdies on it. For our future daughter. We washed her gown along with all the rest of her clothes. Then we went to Target. Our first shopping excursion as a brand new family of three. I carried sleeping Precious in a baby carrier and kissed the top of her stinky head as we tossed diapers, bottles, burp cloths and pacifiers into the cart. We got home at 10 pm and put our sleepy baby girl down in her crib. An hour later Jason left for a 4 day trip. I turned on the baby monitor and tried not to think so that I could get some sleep, assuming I’d be up a few times during the night. My first night at home with an infant. A stranger in the room next to ours. She slept like a champ, not waking up until 5 am and then going back to sleep until almost 9 after a bottle and a fresh diaper. The first night:

Precious arrived on a Wednesday night. The following day, my mom babysat so I could go to work.

The next day, my mother-in-law babysat. I was so thankful to have our moms close by and willing to jump in and help!

Precious has been a great sleeper since the beginning.

And so full of joy, too!

Here I am looking a little tired, but it’s the first photo I have of the two of us on our third day. She was so tiny!

When Jason got home, I took this first picture of them together.

It’s hard to believe that was 6 months ago. Last week we celebrated our half-year familiversary, six months since the day Precious became a part of our family. We’re looking forward to finalizing her adoption in the next few months, hopefully before her first birthday in July.

I just noticed we put the same shirt on her for our ice cream familiversary celebration that she wore on her first full day with us. (Second picture from the top.) She’s filling it out a bit more now!

Happy Familiversary, Choongie! We’re so thankful God brought you into our family. I can’t imagine my life without you. Thank you for bringing us so much joy and love everyday.

1 Comment | Family, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: adoption, Family, foster care, foster parenting, parenting, precious | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Yearly Goals: Looking Back and Forward

03/07/2012

A couple of years ago Jason and I took a tip from some successful friends and started writing down goals and a game plan for the coming year. These aren’t the dreaded “New Years Resolutions” and I’m purposely waiting until the second week of January to write this blog post. It’s not about what day we start; it’s about making a plan for the year. In fact, we haven’t written our goals for 2012 yet—though we both have a bunch floating around in our heads. We’ve used this tiny notebook to record our goals for the past 3 years:

Some of our goals are on a personal level, some are career related, some are for our family and home, some financial, and some are big picture goals.

We didn’t hit all of our goals for 2011 and that’s OK. We set a lofty income target and we didn’t quite make it, but we did see a significant leap. We’ll try for that goal again in 2012. We had goals to finish some home projects like put a shade roof on the pergola and build a privacy fence around the patio and garden, which were completed. Others, like replace the plumbing mainline to the street, we decided to forego.

We had written a goal to start saving for our next vehicle. We ended up buying the Silver Bullet in cash. Yay!

We had planned to save up money for an adoption or for medical expenses if we had a baby. We ended up draining all of that money preparing our home to become foster parents. That works, too!

We had intended to save, save, save for our future (kids, vehicle, retirement) in 2011 but we ended up just saving a little (see above two points).

My favorite goal of 2011 was “Take more risks.” At the time, that was a big picture goal. We didn’t have anything specific in mind when the calendar page flipped over to 2011. Turns out we became foster parents, which was a pretty huge risk. We also bought a piece of land and put our beloved MCM ranch on the market with plans to build our dream house in 2012 with rooms for more kids.

It’s fun to look back at how much life has changed in one year. 2011 was a challenging, stretching, overall good year.

Here are a few of our (not too personal and/or financial) 2012 goals:

• finish new home build

• move in and get settled

• finalize Precious’ adoption

• specific goals for our retirement savings

• save up cash for a new vehicle to replace our 10-year old Ford Focus

• reopen our home as foster parents

• release Jason’s first solo album, Acoustic Lullabies

• specific marketing and distribution goals for Acoustic Lullabies

~~• get debt-free (but the house)~~

• specific home related financial goal

• specific income target

2 Comments | Family, Family: Jason, Family: Me, Other | Tagged: 2011, 2012, Family, game plan, goals, marriage, planning, resolutions, strategy | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Hanging Out: Spring Swings and an Adoption Update

03/06/2012

We took Precious to the playground for the first time last week since the weather has been reaching into the upper 60s and low 70s more frequently here in Nashville. She seemed to really enjoy the swings. Not much reaction to the slide and that’s about all she’s big enough for yet. So lots of swing pictures pictures…

I haven’t given an update on our adoption situation in a while, mainly because not much is happening. Later this month we’ll be celebrating our 6-month familiversary (a term I got from the Foster Parent Podcast) and Precious will be 8 months old. We were anticipating being able to finalize her adoption around the 6-month point but now it seems we’ll be waiting two more months…until the beginning of May. At the earliest. We did everything we were supposed to do. Got our home study done in less than a month and our attorney submitted everything to the court. And then we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, the judge’s clerk got back to our attorney to let us know they would start the process of publication* in order to terminate Precious’ biological father’s parental rights. This week. And the process takes 8 weeks. It feels like the papers were just sitting around in a stack in the courthouse for over a month. It’s frustrating to be stuck in this waiting period—just hanging out in limbo—for an indefinite amount of time.

But we could be in such a different situation that we’re in right now, and that perspective keeps us in thankful mode rather than impatient mode. We have full custody of Precious, she’s with us everyday, we’re her parents, we’re not in any real risk of losing her—we’re very blessed. Situations don’t often turn out this rosy. But that finalization is going to feel so good. Everything will be permanent and official then. We’ll get a new birth certificate for her with our names on it as her parents and a new name for her—which I plan to reveal here once it’s a done deal. She’ll take our last night, get a new middle name and keep the same first name. We’re just changing the spelling of her first name slightly because her biological mom gave her a beautiful name and we’d like her to keep it. But a little modification will allow us to incorporate in our favorite family name as well as honoring her original name and her history.

*In case you’re really interested in adoption and foster parenting technical processes, here’s an explanation of “publication” as best as I understand it here in Tennessee. When a biological parent is unidentified or his/her whereabouts is unknown, every effort needs to be made to find him/her. There is a Punitive Fatherhood Registry in Tennessee where a father can post that he is looking for a biological child. A child’s information is submitted and if it matches a father on the list, more information/testing can be done to see if they’re a match. If there is no match there, the next step is to run an ad in a public newspaper for 4 weeks. I think the ad says something like, “If you are looking for your child, born on blank, please contact blank for more information.” Pretty vague for the child’s protection. The parent has 30 days to respond to the ad. If no one comes forward and no match is found any other way, the adoption process moves forward and the biological parent’s parental rights are terminated.

So that’s where we’re at. We’re just waiting. Hanging out. Having fun. Going about our day to day lives with our precious 7.5 month old little sweetie pie. And being thankful everyday. She makes my life much richer, messier and so much more joyful…

4 Comments | Family, Family: Foster Parenting, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: adoption, daughter, Family, infant, park, playground, precious, spring, swings | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

38 Years

03/01/2012

Tomorrow my parents celebrate their 38th wedding anniversary. I am so thankful for the example they set for me and my siblings with their relationship. At one point in elementary school I remember learning about some of my classmates parents getting divorced and I was concerned that my parents might get divorced, too. My mom reassured me that it would not happen. “How do you know?” I asked. “Because, we decided a long time ago that divorce is not an option for us.” It felt good to know that as a kid and it’s something I’ve carried with me into my own marriage. We will never even consider divorce as an option, no matter how angry we might be with each other or no matter how much we don’t feel in love at any given point.

Why am I writing about divorce? Oh right…I guess because the key to a long, successful marriage is commitment. It’s not about staying in love, keeping it fresh, romance; though those things are nice. But really, it seems to come down to a decision, a covenant, a contract that’s made between two people that says we will stick it out and stick together. We will not quit. And, of course, if we want to have a happy marriage, a whole lot of love helps, a whole lot of putting my spouse’s wants before my own and finding ways to serve him everyday. My parents’ marriage has been a great example of that, too. My mom loves to serve others and take care of her household. My dad loves to spoil my mom with gifts and dinners out and vacations. They’re a sweet combination and I’m thankful they’re my parents.

Another invaluable piece of advice my parents taught us: a couple that prayer together stays together. Praying for each other, encouraging each other, rooting for each other, honoring each other (especially in conversation with others)… those are all really important, too.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! Thanks for leading the way!

3 Comments | Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends | Tagged: anniversary, Family, marriage, mom and dad, parents | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Eliza’s First Birthday

02/28/2012

My first-born niece turned 1 on Friday.
It doesn’t feel like February 24, 2011 was so long ago.

On Saturday, we celebrated her birthday party out at my in-law’s house. It was a fun party.

Ginger makes the best birthday cakes.

Dan, Ginger and Eliza

Mmm… strawberry cake!

Aunties and couzies. Yeah, we’re nerds.

This sequence was funny. We were trying to get a good picture of the three 2011 babies together. Jaron started fussing…

Precious offered him her thumb. Works for her!

Jaron made a disgusted face. Precious looked at her thumb like What just happened? Eliza was impressed.

Three little buddies. Four months old, seven months old, 1 year old. Chocolate, Caramel and Vanilla.

Happy Birthday, Eliza! Glad we could celebrate with you!

2 Comments | Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: birthday, cousins, Eliza, Family, one year old, party | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

“Have fun!”

02/02/2012

I come from a long line of worriers through my mom’s side. When my mom was growing up, every time she’d leave the house her parents would call out one last warning, “Be careful!” The world is a scary, dangerous place. Because of the fear it instilled, my parents made a point to be different. When we’d leave for school in the morning, go out on a date, or take off with friends for a sleepover, instead of saying, “Be careful!” they’d smile and say, “Have fun!”

I’ve always made a point of doing the same. People often tell me, “Be careful!” when I’m leaving… my boss, friends, Jason’s boss as Precious and I were leaving for the Tampa airport last week. And I answer back, “Ok… Have fun!” Because, really, we’re always careful, smart, calculated, paying attention, right? But what really helps to counter the anxiety that starts creeping up before a big adventure is a reminder to have fun.

So, wherever you’re going: Have fun!

2 Comments | Family, Other | Tagged: be careful, Family, fear, have fun, life, philosophy, principle, worry | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Christmas 2011

01/05/2012

It was by far the best Christmas ever, thanks to a sweet little someone. Precious was equally interested in the gift wrappings and the goodies inside. (My kind of girl!) She curiously watched as we opened presents and even helped a little. My family has a tradition of having homemade Swedish meatballs for dinner on Christmas eve. The were delicious, as always. After that, we decided to just go for it and open all the presents from and for my parents, and from my siblings. My parents have a tradition of giving us an ornament every year. This year Precious got a customized baby’s first Christmas ornament.

We all got adequately spoiled. Jason and I are particularly enjoying our new Keurig. (This one, if you’re in the market for one.)

Precious got a bunch of new clothes—much needed since she’s quickly growing out of 6 month size already—and some new toys and books. She got this pretty shirt from Uncle Aaron and Aunt Laura.

And this really cool crinkly, textured book from Uncle Jeff and Aunt Jess and cousin Iris.

Christmas morning at our house was very laid back. I was the first one awake at 9:30. Even Lucy slept in! I tried to wake Precious first, without success, then Jason who told me to go back to sleep—it wasn’t time yet. At 10:00 Precious started stirring so I got her up and dressed and together we woke Daddy. She waited patiently by the tree while we got the Keurig fired up with some fresh coffee.

In her stocking, Precious had a new headband and three pairs of socks.

I decided to adopt a tradition from Design Mom to just give our kids three gifts for Christmas: something to wear, something to read and something to play with. This year for Precious that meant leg warmers, a book with textures and a crinkle-rattle-mirror-teether toy. She’s been enjoying all three.

Jason and I kept it simple for each other too, with a budget of $35 for each other. (Not including stocking stuffers.) I took some pictures but decided not to post the sleepy-eyed, pre-shower Christmas morning pics. I gave Jason a pair of hand weights and a new shirt. He gave me a new hat, a strawberry corer and a Joie Piggy Wiggy bacon tray. I’m pretty ecstatic about the bacon cooker, which was on my wish list. I like to make bacon for breakfast on occasion and I hate the greasy mess it makes. This thing is amazing! The grease drips and splatters off the bacon is is contained inside the Piggy Wiggy, where it can be drained. I highly recommend this thing if you ever cook bacon. Moving on…

We went over to my parents for lunch where we were joined by Jason’s parents, my bro- and sis-in-law Dan and Ginger, my niece Eliza, Ginger’s dad Jim and our friend Jeremy. It was a nice group. We ate a TON of wonderful foods, did a silly white elephant gift exchange for the adults, real gift exchange for the kids and relaxed the rest of the day. Jason’s parents also had a boat load of gifts for Precious including new books and toys. I’m really glad we started the tradition of just 3 gifts for our kids because the grandparents and aunts and uncles are all very generous too!

Precious with cousin Eliza

Dad and Jason (sporting his new shirt from me)

Moms

And finally, one last snap of the pretty Shiny Brite ornaments before they get packed away…

1 Comment | Family | Tagged: 2011, Christmas, Family, holiday | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Thanksgiving 2011 – in Pictures

11/29/2011

We spent Thanksgiving at my sister and brother-in-law’s house in Philadelphia this year because they have a newborn, my sweet little niece Iris. It was so nice to finally meet her! Also, my siblings got to meet Precious. Here’s some photo overload from the long weekend:

Lovely table setting