01/01/2012
Four days before Christmas, on the 3-month anniversary of when Precious joined our family, we found ourselves sitting in the juvenile courthouse once again. This time we didn’t have a hearing; we were there to meet in the judge’s quarters and accept a surrender of parental rights from Precious’ birth mother. It was a rough day. Brave spent a lot of time holding her youngest child, telling her she loves her, kissing her big fat cheeks. She asked us a lot of questions about her sleeping and eating, if she was enjoying the toys she gave her at her last visit, if she’s sitting up yet or getting her first tooth, if we’re going to change her name. Brave was proudly wearing the locket I gave her with Precious’ picture in it and said she shows it to everyone she meets. She told Precious how she thinks about her everyday but she was really thinking a lot about her on her 5 month birthday, wondering how she was doing. I’m glad that things have smoothed out and that we have the relationship we do with Brave now. I’m not sure how things will look as we move forward. She asked if we can send her pictures on Precious’ first birthday with her face covered in cake. We assured her we will. She reiterated to Jason (since he wasn’t at the two previous visits) that she doesn’t have anything against us and never did, but just hopes that all of her children can stay in touch because it is not their fault all of this happened, it’s hers. She’s a strong woman and she has a lot of love for her kids. We’re praying hard for her recovery. It doesn’t seem like she has any confidence in or love for herself.
The actual surrender process was very bittersweet. Brave cried as she firmly answered all the judge’s questions. She understood what she was doing and why but it didn’t make it any easier. In other ways, it was a happy time. It was the same judge who had given us custody a little more than a month earlier. (We love her!) She was so happy to see that we were doing well and moving forward with an adoption attorney. Precious’ guardian ad litem who had been key in all of this was there too, and he was happy. The baliff who had been in court with us previously told both Jason and I privately how thankful she was that all this worked out the way it did and how it was not just a Christmas gift for us, but for her as well. The judge gave Precious a big soft teddy bear to commemorate the day. At the end of the process, it was just our family of three, our attorney and the judge left in the conference room. We were able to really thank her for what she did for Precious back on November 15th. She went above and beyond what she had to do because she believed it was the right thing to do and we’ve very grateful for her decision—she’s a very sweet but strong woman. She asked us to bring Precious back when she’s 16 so she can see that she’s still doing well, then said—no, don’t wait that long! Come back to visit sooner than that.
When we left the judge’s chambers Brave was already gone. We had been hoping to talk to her some more, to thank her and encourage her. I wanted to give her a hug. But it was too late. I know why she slipped out so quickly. I would have done the same thing. There is so much good and bad tangled together in this whole situation. We are blessed and we are grateful but we’re also sad for Brave and Precious. Please pray for them, especially Brave who is really hurting right now.
6 Comments | 
Family, Family: Foster Parenting, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: biological mother, birth parent, court, foster care, foster parenting, juvenile court, parental rights, surrendering, TPR | 
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Posted by mahlbrandt
12/26/2011
I’m going to be taking the rest of the week off from blogging but I thought I’d leave you with this little fight sequence I caught on camera over Thanksgiving of Precious and her cousin Iris. You’ll probably have to enlarge it to read the dialog.
I’ll see you back here on January 2, 2012!
2 Comments | Family, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: cartoon, comic, cousins, fight, iris, precious | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt
12/22/2011
Precious is 5 months old! On one hand, it’s hard to believe she’s been with for 3 months already, and the other hand, it feels like she’s been with us forever. We love our little daughter. She brings us so much joy. She is almost always happy. Choongie has become her nickname to Jason and me, because of the sound she used to make when she sneezed. (She doesn’t anymore. Boo.) She is not too interested in getting around yet. She still hasn’t figured out how to roll but she’s thisclose to getting from her back to her belly. Precious is talking up a storm, though. We love to hear her babbling and squealing. She often sounds like she’s saying “hi” and “hey,” which would make sense since we say, “Hi Baby!” to her every morning when we greet our smiling girl in her crib. And when she’s crying, it sounds like she’s saying “Dada!” and “Daddy!” Jason is the best at soothing her when she’s got gas pain so maybe she knows what she’s doing calling for him.. She’s grabbing toys, especially the crinkly ones, and she enjoys looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her new tricks this week are reaching out for our faces and grabbing on to our arms/necks when we pick her up. So sweet. Precious is a jolly girl and she makes our lives much richer.
Here are some runner-up pictures. It was hard for me to decide.
6 Comments | Family, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: 5 months, baby, monthly, monthly portraits, precious | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt
12/19/2011
On Saturday my sister-in-law Ginger suggested we go to the Opryland Hotel to look at the Christmas decorations with the babies. My bro-in-law Dan, our friend Leila, her son Jaron, and my mom also came along. It’s a beautiful, huge hotel with massive indoor gardens, fountains, and even a river. And they really do it up for Christmas. I didn’t take a lot of pictures but I got a few good ones and Leila sent me some of hers.
Leila took this one of my mom holding Jaron and me with my baby. Precious reached out and took Jaron’s hand right before the picture snapped. So sweet!
Eliza is a tiny toddler. I love it! She’s 10 months old and a wee bit smaller than Precious but she’s going to be taking her first steps (without help) very soon.
What really struck me when I saw this picture is how much our lives have changed this year. My niece Eliza was born in February, our daughter was born in July and baby Jaron was born in October. Each came into his/her family a different way: born biologically, through foster care and through an agency adoption; respectively. We all became mamas this year—couldn’t have planned that better if we had tried. Also, I find it particularly amusing that these three babies are vanilla, caramel and chocolate.
3 Comments | Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: babies, Christmas, motherhood, Nashville, opryland hotel, parenthood | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt
12/16/2011
I found a pair of red TOMS baby shoes in a bag of hand-me-downs. Score! My daughter is now way cooler than me. They stay on her feet for about 30 seconds but maybe she’ll grow into them.
Leave a Comment » | Art, Art: fashion, Art: Phone Photo Friday, Family, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: baby shoes, cell phone photography, Phone Photo Friday, precious, TOMS | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt
12/15/2011
When it comes to baby gear, we try hard to be minimalists. We really don’t want our house loaded with junk—swing, bouncy seat, bumbo, play gym, exercauser, doorway jumper, pack n play, crib, etc. etc. etc. They’re all handy but we don’t need ALL of them. With that spirit, I really, really didn’t want to have a baby bathtub. My parents never had one; they just gave baby baths in the sink (or in the shower and handed off the clean, wet baby to the other parent). My main beef with the plastic baby tub is that they take up a lot of space when they’re not in use. We may have many babies coming and going through the years (and some staying, of course, like this one!). Storage is at a premium around here. The kitchen sink was working for the first month until Precious started getting more active and I was concerned that slippery, soapy baby was going to whack her head on the hard edge of the sink. So… I broke down and bought one of these. The Safety 1st Kirby Inflatable Tub.
I LOVE it! I was just happy that it collapses down into the size of a pillow case when it’s not in use but it’s actually really handy too. It’s considered a toddler tub for use in between the baby bath tub and before using the regular bath tub. I think it’s fabulous for babies, though. It fits nicely in the regular bath tub, fills quickly with the faucet and has soft bouncy sides. I was thrilled to discover that she can hold herself up with her legs when we put her in it sideways. Also, she can lean over the side when it’s time to wash her backside. Perfect! I definitely recommend this to anyone with the same storage concerns as I have. Plus it’s only $15 with free shipping.
When we don’t have any babies around, I think this will be a fun pool toy or even a mini splash pool for the backyard.
3 Comments | Art, Art: modern design, Family, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: baby bath, baby bathtub, baby gear, bath time, inflatable tub, minimalism | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt
12/09/2011
When I’ve got work to do and the baby just wants to be held…Moby wrap to the rescue!
2 Comments | Art, Art: kids room, Art: Phone Photo Friday, Family, Family: Me, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: baby, baby wearing, cell phone photography, moby wrap, Phone Photo Friday, precious, work from home | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt
12/08/2011
Precious’ mother requested two more visits before she surrenders her parental rights to us. I really wasn’t sure what to expect from our first meeting. We met her mother—let’s call her Brave, because she is—once before at a meeting at DCS and it didn’t go real well. But at this visit, the interactions between Brave and Precious were much better than I expected and for that I’m thankful. As awkward as it was and considering what a mess this all is, I realize now how truly valuable an open adoption can be.
Because we love Precious so much, I find it impossible to not care about Brave. Even if we’re angry about things that happened to Precious in the past, I see so much value in Brave. She holds a wealth of information about Precious’ family medical history, her ethnicity and heritage, her biological half-siblings, etc. The most valuable thing to me is to witness Brave’s love for Precious. There is no doubt that Precious is loved and wanted.
I call her Brave because what she is doing requires so much courage. She’s obviously a smart woman who has made some really bad choices. And she knows it. She openly admits that she made mistakes, putting her vices before her children. Brave is working hard to get her life back on track. Even so, she wants to release Precious to us so we can adopt her because she believes it’s what’s best for her and for us. Now that takes a lot of strength.
As much as God loves adoption, He loves restoration. I would love to see Brave’s life redeemed. And I am so thankful for the gift of Precious. It’s far from a picture-perfect story but I’m thankful Jason and I could be available for Precious when she needed us and to hear Brave say she’s thankful too—that means so much.
Could you imagine loving your child so much that you would willing let her go? She’s very brave. We’re eternally grateful.
12 Comments | Family, Family: Foster Parenting, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: adoption, biological parent, birth parent, foster care, foster parenting, mother, open adoption | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt
12/05/2011
• Last week I was “in” court by speaker phone. That’s the third time I’ve been in court in the past month. Oh, how my life has changed.
• Precious had her first “solid” food this weekend, if rice cereal counts as a solid. She seemed to like it but learning how to swallow it will take some time.
• My mom was asked to testify at a brunch for her bible study/prayer group this week, about the miracle God did for us and Precious. She asked if I’d say something afterward. I wrote a 5 minute speech and I’ve rehearsed it in front of Photo Booth five times because I get nervous speaking in front of groups. But I have a lot to say. (In case you haven’t noticed…)
• We had the first of two court-ordered, pre-TPR, supervised visits with Precious’ birth mom last week. It felt so strange going into it—it’s a mess and the situation is unnatural in so many ways—but it went much better than I expected. That’s a whole blog post in itself.
• I’m really thankful for the adoption attorney we found. She seems super amazing and her price is great.
• Thank you to all of you who have donated to our adoption fundraiser! Just through this blog post, we’ve already collected over $500. We are blessed and amazed. You guys are the best!
• I keep finding money lately. Mostly quarters. In random places.
• I helped my parents put up their Christmas tree on Saturday and then on Sunday my mom helped me with ours. (Jason is in Texas.) Precious loves how shiny and sparkly it is. She’s gonna make Christmas so much more fun this year.
• Our house, our beloved MCM ranch, is officially on the market now. I’m sad because I love it but I’m also excited about the new season we’re moving into. I am not really looking forward to keeping the house clean ALL THE TIME…
2 Comments | Art, Art: interior design, Family, Family: Foster Parenting, Family: Me, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: adoption, babies, birth parent, christmas tree, foster parenting, fundraiser, parenting | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt
12/01/2011
I’ve seen a lot of clever ideas for documenting children’s growth through monthly portraits. I missed out on the first two months of Precious’ life but I’m very thankful we were able to become her parents at just two months and one day old. She’s already been with us more of her life than she’s been without us. I started taking monthly photos on her 3-month birthday. The plan is to always use this quilt that her Great Aunt Linda made as a backdrop and add just one (or two) accessories to a plain white onesie.
I’m really loving this age. At four months she’s sleeping 12 uninterrupted hours at night. Praise the Lord! She’s eating 5-6 ounces of formula 5x a day. Precious is starting to work on rolling. My mom reports that she rolled from her stomach to her back once but we haven’t seen it happen since. She’s working hard on going from back to belly, swinging her legs until she flops onto her side. Precious has just in the last week started laughing—only for her daddy so far—and grabbing toys and putting them in her mouth. She hasn’t taken a pacifier since the thrush bout over a month ago and has become a thumb-sucking expert. She can quickly sooth herself when she’s sleepy or upset but doesn’t over use it. Precious is still just as happy and easy-going as ever. She’s a wonderful little girl.
7 Comments | Family, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: 3 months, 4 month old, baby, kids, monthly portraits, precious | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt
myMCMlife.com 