Birth Parent Visit

Precious’ mother requested two more visits before she surrenders her parental rights to us. I really wasn’t sure what to expect from our first meeting. We met her mother—let’s call her Brave, because she is—once before at a meeting at DCS and it didn’t go real well. But at this visit, the interactions between Brave and Precious were much better than I expected and for that I’m thankful. As awkward as it was and considering what a mess this all is, I realize now how truly valuable an open adoption can be.

Because we love Precious so much, I find it impossible to not care about Brave. Even if we’re angry about things that happened to Precious in the past, I see so much value in Brave. She holds a wealth of information about Precious’ family medical history, her ethnicity and heritage, her biological half-siblings, etc. The most valuable thing to me is to witness Brave’s love for Precious. There is no doubt that Precious is loved and wanted.

I call her Brave because what she is doing requires so much courage. She’s obviously a smart woman who has made some really bad choices. And she knows it. She openly admits that she made mistakes, putting her vices before her children. Brave is working hard to get her life back on track. Even so, she wants to release Precious to us so we can adopt her because she believes it’s what’s best for her and for us. Now that takes a lot of strength.

As much as God loves adoption, He loves restoration. I would love to see Brave’s life redeemed. And I am so thankful for the gift of Precious. It’s far from a picture-perfect story but I’m thankful Jason and I could be available for Precious when she needed us and to hear Brave say she’s thankful too—that means so much.

Could you imagine loving your child so much that you would willing let her go? She’s very brave. We’re eternally grateful.


12 Responses to Birth Parent Visit

  1. Lorraine Mory says:

    I wish Brave could read this. She is giving an incredible gift and I, too, pray that she gets her life back on track and is blessed.

  2. Sam says:

    “As much as God loves adoption, He loves restoration.”

    I love that so much. Thanks for your words. I find myself clinging to them some days.

  3. barchbo says:

    I am so glad that you have this record for Precious. My prayer as I read this is that Brave will one day be able to read this with a healed heart and life. She will be blessed for her bravery and unselfishness, I know.

    This story is so inspiring! I am so glad I found your blog.

  4. Christie says:

    “As much as God loves adoption, He loves restoration.” Amazing. You guys are truly fulfilling the ministry God has set before you!

  5. K says:

    Brave will always be a part of Precious’ life. It is often hard to explain to people the soft-spot I have in my heart for our boys’ first mom, even though she could not care for them and they have no real memory of her. I think of her often, especially at holidays and birthdays. I cannot imagine what it is like for her to be without her children, who I know she loved but could not care for.

  6. Brian says:

    Amazing perspective. Wow.

  7. Jason Ahlbrandt says:

    My wife is amazing! I love you mommy

  8. With your love for her, and your respect for Brave, you are raising Precious to be grateful, instead of angry, for her birth mother’s decision.

  9. Julia says:

    written beautifully, will say a prayer for brave tonight

  10. Lori says:

    What a beautiful post…

  11. Helen says:

    This is a post from a blog I read and at the end of the post is a lovely poem about birth mothers.

  12. I lost all of my bookmarks and forgot about your blog, but was just on 615 Modern and immediately recognized your house. anyway, just skimming through and I stopped on this post and have to admit it moved me to tears…what an awesome and beautiful perspective!

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