Family: Jason | myMCMlife.com

HFM and Thank God for Good Men

08/22/2013

I’ll spare you all of the details and any photos, but last weekend I had hand, foot and mouth disease. I survived! It started out last Wednesday as a low fever (99.4-100.0) and a sore throat for two days and then developed into excruciating burning and itching hands and feet. The peak of pain was 24-36 hours. It’s been 8 days since the initial fever started and my hands and feet are still irritated a little bit. Absolutely tolerable. Saturday thru Sunday afternoon was HELL … I’m pretty sure it’s the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. Walking through the house felt like walking over smoldering coals. Touching things, putting pressure on my hands, felt like touching flaming hot fiberglass. At the better times it felt like the pin-pricks of when your hand or foot falls asleep. I alternated ibuprofen and acetaminophen every few hours for days. Aloe vera gel would give me a couple minutes of relief. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Ali was not sleeping well at night or nap times (though she never got sick, thank God!). Jason was out of town…out of the country actually. My usual back-up is my mom and she was also out of town. My dad came to my rescue multiple times. This happened at 3:00 Sunday morning when Ali would not go to sleep and I had no fight left in me…all I could do was cry.

My dad had been awoken by a nightmare and had been praying for about 10 minutes before I texted. After a very long night for all of us, my dad took Ali with him all day on Sunday so I could rest. I sent out a desperate plea for prayer on Instagram and Facebook and was thankful for the response from friends everywhere. I slept for a couple hours and watched movies most of the day to stay off my feet and try not to use my hands.

My dad made us dinner Sunday evening and then I took Ali to the airport to pick Jason up. It was so good, SO GOOD, to have him home. He took over at bedtime and got Ali back into her proper sleep habits again. She was stuck in a rut for a couple days, fighting bedtime and waking in the middle of the night, maybe somehow related to me being sick and/or potty training. On Monday I started improving rapidly. I was able to tolerate water warm enough for a shower and I started getting the house back in order. Tuesday I was well enough to take Ali to her check up and to work at home the rest of the day. I still have faint red spots on my hands and feet and some itching and burning but it’s totally tolerable. I am so glad that’s over. That was an experience I would never wish on anyone! I am extremely grateful for the good men in my life: For my Dad who came over to help and encourage and give hugs (even in the middle of the night!), and to take care of his granddaughter all day on Sunday. And for my husband who didn’t get to come home to a clean house and a happy, energetic wife after being on tour in Europe for 3 weeks but who jumped right into Daddy mode taking care of Ali. He encouraged me out of my wallowing and motivated me to start moving wellness. The atmosphere in our home was restored as soon as he got back.

By Monday evening I was ready to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather. We took a family walk around Centennial Park.

And I’m finally well enough to sample all the treats that Jason brought home from Sweden, Norway, Iceland and the Netherlands. The puffin is for Ali. The rest is for ME…OK, I guess I’ll share with Jason.

Leave a Comment » | Family, Family: Extended Family and Friends, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: hand foot mouth, HFM, illness, sick | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Refreshment

07/15/2013

Jason and I love Naples but since our 10th anniversary was a very special occasion we also wanted to go somewhere new to us. We decided on Key West. The drive was beautiful.

We stopped at Mangrove Mama’s for lunch on the recommendation of an Instagram friend @bakewithamy. It was delicious.

And then we saw a box turtle.

Jason looking very Floridian with his green pants.

Have you ever seen such blue water?

Jason is a key lime pie connoisseur so we had a lot! Kermit’s was our favorite, followed by Key West Key Lime Pie Co.

It was a very restful, restorative trip for us both. In Key West we walked miles everyday exploring the island. We slept late most days and watched a lot of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee and Bob’s Burgers on Netflix. We ate a lot of really good food. Blue Heaven was recommended by multiple people and lived up to it’s reputation. Jason ordered lobster eggs Benedict with bacon and tomato which was the most memorable meal we had in the Keys. We went to Blue Heaven after a morning of snorkeling which was the highlight of our trip. I don’t have any photos of that excursion. It was incredible to see sea creatures in their natural habitat. The most thrilling was when a nurse shark, about 5 feet long, swam right past Jason and me. I’m a little bummed that I didn’t get to see a sea turtle (Jason saw one from the boat but I missed it) but it gives me a reason to go back. Next time we’d like to try scuba diving.

1 Comment | Family, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: anniversary, Florida, key west, keys, marriage, second honeymoon | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Good Morning from the Sunshine State

07/08/2013

I had planned to schedule a bunch of posts for this week but with Jason and Buzz sick last week and the holiday, time just got away from me. So know you get to know: Jason and I are in Florida this week. Since before Buzz arrived (at the beginning of May) we had been planning a getaway to celebrate our 10th Anniversary. We’re not big on celebrating milestones with “stuff” like cards or gifts but we always set aside some time for a dinner date. We did that this year too and it was painfully clear that 2 hours away from the toddlers was not enough time to catch up, and definitely not enough time to rest and relax.

A kid-less vacation was what we needed. Four days into our vacation and we already feel like its been SO refreshing! We had dinner at the Columbia in Sarasota, spent the weekend in Naples, Fl (our favorite) and this morning we’re heading to Key West – somewhere new to us.

My mama always told me that the best gift you can give your kids is to love your spouse well.

1 Comment | Art, Art: God's creation, Family, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: anniversary, Florida, getaway, vacation | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Dun Dun Dun…

07/03/2013

The stomach virus strikes again. I can’t believe I’m writing about this but it’s basically been consuming all of my non-working, waking hours lately. You know I mentioned getting a nasty stomach virus last week? Well we’re pretty sure Ali had a milder form of it last week too. Buzz had a little bit of symptoms but seemed fine. On Sunday evening, I woke the kids up from their deep slumber so we could go to a Nashville Sounds game. I got free tickets from work, their was a concert beforehand and the weather was cloudy an 79 degrees so we were all set up for a perfect evening. Before the game started, we could tell something was up. Ali was just eating it all up. She LOVES adventures, people, crowds, mascots, music…all of it. But Buzz was not acting like his usual wild self. It was kind of nice at first…during the concert he just stood next to me and held my hand or wanted to be picked up. But once we got to our seats he was really trying to get comfortable and acting really sleepy. We only stayed for 1.5 innings and realized we better go. As soon as we got home, he flopped on the sofa in the playroom. I checked his temperature and he had a fever. As soon as I turned to walk out of the room he threw up all over the place. I took a sick day on Monday to take care of him and Ali while Jason ran a bunch of errands. Tuesday morning Buzz still had a fever so I left both kids with Jason and went to work. Before lunch time I got a text from Jason that he wasn’t feeling well. By the time I got both kids down for their afternoon naps, Jason was definitely sick with the same dang stomach virus. I hate that thing. I hate that it’s taken over a week to move from person to person. I hate that it started with me.

I’m praying that Buzz is well enough to go to day care today and that Jason is able to rest and get his strength back. Possibly, I’ll be able to go in to the office. Good grief. It has been a week! We have a lot of fun planned for the next few days so I’m ready to kick this thing to the curb.

Leave a Comment » | Family, Family: Buzz, Family: Jason, Family: Me, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: Family, foster care, foster parenting, illness, parenting, sickness, summer, virus | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

The Blue Guitar

07/02/2013

It was Jason’s first guitar almost 20 years ago, the one he learned to play on. It was a red burst color back then. The mid-60s Sekova guitar (like this one) originally belonged to his mom, believe it or not! His dad taught him as many chords as he knew and then Jason started weekly guitar lessons. He’s been obsessed with all things guitar ever since. By the time Jason was a guitar performance major in music school, he was the one teaching guitar lessons. He’s had a lot of different guitars through the years, always buying, selling and trading up. In a high school art class Jason painted the old Sekova blue but never reassembled it into working order.

I’ve always treasured the blue guitar but it took a lot of convincing before my guitar loving husband would allow me to display a non-functional guitar in our house. To me, the blue guitar represents dreams that come true—if you pour your whole heart into something, work hard and never give up, you CAN reach your loftiest goals!

Some bitter, cruel, and perhaps a few even well-meaning people through Jason’s adolescence attempted to crush his dream; to tell him he wasn’t good enough… or suggest how arrogant he must be to think he could actually be a professional guitar player… or to say “it didn’t work for me so it won’t work for you.”

Jason has a tender heart, an inherited work ethic and perfectionism (I blame his German roots), and a rare tenacity. He’s now playing professionally, traveling the world, making a good living doing what he loves. I hung the blue guitar in the playroom where our kids spend a lot of time because I want them to ask about it. I want to tell them over and over again about how hard their daddy worked and how much he loves what he does; I want them to know—to really know—that with enough passion and diligence they can achieve whatever they desire to achieve. Dreams do come true.

1 Comment | Art, Art: music, Family, Family: Jason | Tagged: career, dreams, father, goals, guitar, hard work, husband, Jason, music, musician, passion | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Project Restoration: Home Life Interview

07/01/2013

The June 2013 issue of Home Life magazine includes an interview with Jason and me, written eloquently by my friend and former co-worker, Lindsay Williams. She had the foresight (or it was a God-timing-thing) to interview us as we were preparing to reopen our home as foster parents earlier this spring. If she had waited a few months later, to when Buzz arrived, I’m pretty sure our brains would have been too scrambled to make any good sense. As it is, I read the article when it came out months after our interview and my scrambled egg brain said, “Wow? Did I say that?! We really sound like we know what the heck we’re doing and why!” In my exhausted-chaotic-new-foster-placement mental state, I actually encouraged myself. I didn’t know that was possible.

The article is good and you should read it—not because we’re so smart, but because Lindsay made us sound so smart. She’s good!

Here are some of our original answers:

What prompted you to begin the process of becoming certified foster parents?

Martina: We had talked a few times about adopting “someday” but imagined it would be later in our lives when we were already seasoned parents. When we finally felt like we were ready to think about having kids (after being married 8 years…we married young!), I started researching adoption just out of curiosity. I looked at international adoption first but then found myself learning how the US foster care system works. I didn’t realized that there are no orphanages in this country; kids who are waiting to be adopted are usually in state custody, either at a foster home or in a group home setting. Long story short, God turned my curious searching into a growing passion and before we knew what hit us, we were crying over dinner and ready to take the first step toward becoming foster parents.

———————-

Fostering is a totally different experience than becoming a biological parent. How do you mentally and spiritually prepare yourself to be a foster mom/dad?

Jason: Fostering is very different from having children biologically, but this is a situational difference. The care, love, discipline, and commitment are often the same if not more necessary with a foster child who has a deficit in these areas. I would say, the single most important thing you can do for a foster child is love them like they were yours biologically. This is important even if they leave or you have knowledge that they will be leaving. These kids need the things that a healthy family can provide while their biological family gets life back on track. To give the kids anything less would be even more detrimental to their childhood. Needless to say, fostering is not a calling to take lightly. It requires everything you have, and a broken heart sometimes. That is the consequence of sacrificial love. It’s a requirement.

Martina: I think the biggest difference is the time to prepare. Biological parents have 9 months and a due date. We can take as much time as we want to prepare our home, our hearts, our minds but the “due date” is a complete surprise. It seemed just like any other day as we’re sitting down to dinner and then BAM—we got a phone call asking if we could take a placement of a 2-month-old little girl. An hour later, she was at our home and we were instant parents, again. That little girl is now almost 2 years old and was officially adopted into our family last August.

———————-

How has your home become a place of ministry by taking in foster kids and now raising Ali as your own? Are there specific things you do in your home to make sure God has a presence in your house?

Martina: I’m reminded often of my shortcomings and inadequacy as a mom, but I try not to let that get me down. When I am weak, I know that God is strong. I know that God is mighty and able. He’s a good Father and He’s the one that equips me. He will not lead us into a challenge and then abandon us—He provides what we need each step of the way. To keep that perspective going, I try to spend time with God every morning while the rest of the household is still asleep and I welcome His presence into our home everyday. While we have an empty bedroom I also spend time in there most days praying for the kid(s) who will be there someday—for their safety now, for protection around their hearts, for preparation for them and for us for the time we’ll be together, for wisdom on how to love and serve them as a mom for as long as I have the chance, that they will come to know and experience Jesus in a mighty way.

———————-

What would your advice be to someone considering becoming a foster parent?

Martina: Connect with other foster parents however you can to get a realistic picture. Blogs, podcasts and email were my source because I didn’t know any other foster parents when we started out. If your life feels chaotic and out of control already, I don’t recommend becoming a foster parent. Most of all, pray and seek the Lord’s guiding for your family. Don’t be afraid to call an agency today for more information. There is a huge need for more foster parents in the US and over 100,000 kids currently waiting to be adopted out of foster care.

Jason: Foster Parenting is really a desire that comes from a calling on us to affect the culture. Christians need to understand that if we’re going to make a significant impact, we also need to extend Christ’s love to the children. For better or worse, our government understands it starts with kids. So did countless dictators and revolutionaries. That’s the negative side, but we can make a serious change for our future generations by sowing into children. Want to see a change in our culture as it pertains to drug use? Teenage pregnancy? Murder? Incarceration? Invest in a child.

Leave a Comment » | Family, Family: Foster Parenting, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: adoption, foster care, foster parenting, homelife, interview, magazine | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

A Decade of Matrimony

06/20/2013

10 Years is a BIG deal.

When Jason and I announced our plans to get married at 18 and 20 years old, we had a lot of skeptics. I’m quite thankful they kept their concerns to themselves, or at least didn’t tell us until much later. We were very young, no question about that. But we were sure. One of my bridesmaids, Chrissy, sent me an encouraging message on our anniversary and told me how impressed she was that I was calm and cool as I got ready on my wedding day. She had expected me to be nervous the way brides are portrayed in the movies.

When I was 14 years old, I had grown apart from my best friend emotionally and I was lonely. I prayed and asked God for a new best friend—someone I could trust, share my dreams with, hang out with at youth group and on the weekends, someone I could pray with and grow spiritually alongside. I was shy and dorky (middle school, hello!) and wasn’t imagining a boyfriend. Across town a 16 year old Jason was fed up with not being treated well by girls. He took relationships seriously and the girls he dated were flippant with his sensitive heart. He prayed and told God that he didn’t want to date anyone else unless she was going to be his future wife. When Jason and I met and quickly fell in love, we both realized that God had answered our different prayers by bringing us together. I am incredibly grateful that we met and fell in love so young and were spared from much of the heartache and regret that comes along with dating different people over high school and college years.

Chrissy also reminded me of the funny way Jason and I entered our wedding reception as our arrival was announced to the room of waiting guests. It took everyone by surprise and we really hadn’t put that much thought into it. We were waiting in the hallway as the DJ announced the wedding party and I just thought, hey, wouldn’t it be funny if you carried me in on your back? It’s best described with this visual:

That’s pretty much the way we entered into our marriage. We knew we wanted to be together and we just went for it, wholeheartedly, jumping in with both feet, full of joy and energy.

Here’s a little recap of the past 10 years:

• Got married on June 14, 2003 and were endlessly teased about not being legally old enough for a champagne toast

• Spent our first year living in a poorly climate controlled upstairs of an old house in Erie, PA. I was in college and working part time. Jason was working part time and teaching guitar lessons at two different music stores and leading a band. We did laundry at my parents’ house once a week. I have no recollection of how we managed all of that with 1 car.

• After nearly freezing to death in our drafty apartment we decided that there is no reason to wait until after college to move somewhere warmer. I applied to Watkins College of Art & Design in Nashville and got accepted.

• Much like our wedding a year earlier, we headed for the hills with excitement, hope and no reservations. At 20 and 21 years old, I don’t remember having any fear about leaving behind all we had known and starting a new life in Music City.

• I graduated from college in December 2006 with a BFA in graphic design. Two months later, we sold our starter home of 2 years and purchased our beloved mid-century modern ranch in East Nashville. The same month as I started my first full time job at Salem Publishing, where I still work as an art director designing magazines.

• Jason had been working part-full time at Starbucks while building his music career, working on his band, traveling and playing, networking and making friends, playing lots of different kinds of music gigs. In 2009, he was able to quit his part time job and focus completely on his growing music career. A year later, he had more than made up for his retail income by doing only what he loves—music. He has an amazing testimony of working hard, chasing dreams and reaching goals. He inspires me!

• In 2011 we decided to become foster parents. We had been thinking about having kids for a year or so and had talked about adopting some day. God planted the idea of foster care into our minds through some adoption research I was doing randomly one night combined with a home related comment on this here blog from K (and then I got sucked into their story of foster parenthood.) Jason and I realized that we really didn’t feel the need to have biological kids first (or at all) and that we had the room, resources and love to become foster parents at that point.

• In July 2011 we became parents for the first time to 16 month old Ladybug. She was with us for 5 weeks. On September 21, 2011 our home was blessed with the arrival of our little Alianna, our second placement. She was 2 months and 1 day old and the most content baby I had ever known. In November we were granted custody of her so we could pursue a private adoption. (Long story.)

• The same month, we put our cool little ranch up for sale and bought a property less than a mile away and started to plan the construction of our dream house with an architect. We knew that we wanted to have more bedrooms so we could continue to foster children. In 2012 we sold our house, started construction of our new home, celebrated Ali’s first birthday in Outer Banks with my family, finalized her adoption in August and moved into our dream house in December—just in time to get settled and host a Christmas family gathering.

• In March 2013 we reopened our home as foster parents. We did a weekend of respite for 11 year old Sunshine in April. At the beginning of May, 2.5 year old Buzz was placed with us.

• This past Monday night we went out for a dinner date to celebrate our anniversary (and sort of my birthday and father’s day too since they’re all in a 5 day period). Jason bought me a new dress as an early bday gift so I could wear it to dinner. He always picks the most lovely things for me! We stuffed our bellies at J. Alexanders and brought home a giant piece of carrot cake because it’s a must-have, even when we’re too full. We picked up the kids at their respective babysitters and put them to bed. Then we finally made time to sit down and plan our 10th Anniversary Child-free Vacation! We set the dates aside months ago but still hadn’t found time to sit down and book anything. Two hours alone for dinner was not enough time to catch up from all of the craziness of life lately. We are so looking forward to getting away together next month. I love this man.

Phew! It’s been quite an adventure so far. Not able to be captured in these bullet points are the wonderful friendships we’ve developed over the past 9 years that we’ve been in Nashville. I have loved to watch my husband grow, mature and adapt through roller coasters in the music industry, challenges in relationships and struggles with the foster care system. Jason is creative, keen, perceptive, wise beyond his years, loyal, humble, passionate, talented, fun, patient, consistant, generous, hard-working, loving, playful and strong. He takes his job seriously as a godly leader of our household—he prays for us, takes care of us, gently corrects and guides. I recently told a friend just before he got married that I think the greatest gift you can give your spouse is accountability. Jason and I have learned this hard lesson through the years—it’s not fun to be caught in the wrong by your best friend, especially when your actions are hurting the one you love. But, we’ve found that it’s actually a blessing and gift to keep each other in check—to not let each other get away with crap. No one cares more about your success as a person than your spouse. I tell Jason often that I appreciate how he keeps me centered when I start getting worried, selfish, angry or lazy. He’s truly my best friend and our relationship has only grown richer over the past 10 years.

I wonder what the next 6 decades of our marriage will hold!

5 Comments | Family, Family: Jason, Family: Me | Tagged: 10 years, anniversary, decade, Jason, me, wedding | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Weekend Part 2

06/18/2013

The second half of the weekend started when Jason got home Saturday night. I knew he was on the way so I let the kids have a dance party after their bath to prolong bedtime just a bit. Jason was greeted in the hallway by two kids running at him, screaming “Daddy!” and tackling him with hugs. I waited patiently for my hug and kiss. He is such a good dad and husband and we’re all so happy when he gets home. That greeting was his Father’s Day gift from Ali and Buzz. They love him. (Buzz started calling Jason “Daddy” a few days ago. He still calls me A Ma.)

Sunday we spent the morning at church. Jason played guitar in the worship band. I photographed the baby dedication portion of the service. The kids had a good time in the nursery. They wore the new matching clothes from Buzz’s mom and I was really hoping we could get a nice photo of the four of us. Did not happen. One of the four was not cooperative…

I have to admit, I love this one, though. I told Jason it was a very accurate portrayal of his fatherhood at this place in time: trying to corral these two whirlwinds into place with his strong, loving arms.

I guess it doesn’t have quite the same affect with the Buzz head on there. In the one below he’s looking straight at me with a sweet smile and I love the way Ali and Jason are looking at each other.

After lunch and naps we went to my parents’ house for a cookout and swimming. Both kids love to swim so I’m always in the water with them and not taking pictures. I did beg Jason to get a video of Buzz jumping in off the side, swim/walking underwater and holding his breath to send to his parents. They were thrilled! Sadly, I can’t share it here because you can see his face in the video. Buzz and Ali are both doing really, really well with learning to swim and I’m so excited to see them getting better every time. I believe Ali will be swimming on her own by the end of the summer and if Buzz stays with us, he definitely will be too.

I attempted a few more times to get a good picture of the two of them in their matching yellows to send to Buzz’s mom. Ali will pose if I ask her; Buzz not so much.

It turned out to be a pretty good weekend. I’m so thankful for all of the friends and family in our lives.

Leave a Comment » | Family, Family: Buzz, Family: Extended Family and Friends, Family: Jason, Family: Precious/Ali | Tagged: Ali, buzz, father's day, Jason, weekend | Permalink
Posted by mahlbrandt

Junior Landscaping Apprentice

04/09/2013

When Jason and I are doing yard work, Ali is either sleeping or helping. And by helping, I mean “helping.” Bless her heart, she wants so badly to be useful.

I was planning on getting Ali a sandbox this summer and then I realized, hello! We have a whole courtyard full of crushed rocks. Welcome to the giant sandbox, darling.

Look how she follows Jason around with her tiny shovel, trying to do exactly what he’s doing.

Such a beautiful picture of parenting and discipline, isn’t it? She learns how to act by watching and imitating us. We lead by example and it’s her instinct to follow.

It’s not forced. She could have been just playing in the rocks and that would have been fine. But she wanted to help Daddy. She wanted to do what Daddy was doing. She wants to be like Daddy.