Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

Both of our little girls so far have adored Jason and vice versa. “Is she a daddy’s girl?” people always ask. I’ve dearly loved our girls too and they’ve loved me back, but there is just something about that father daughter relationship that’s hard to explain.

I used to come home from work and scoop Ladybug up into a big hug. More often then not, I could smell Jason’s cologne on her. I’d suck in the fragrance as I hugged our first daughter and my heart was full of joy that she had a daddy who loved her so much. I could always tell when she’d been spending time with her father because she had picked up his scent. (Picture above, from here.)

Precious is too little to give hugs but she has gigantic kissable cheeks. At her first doctor’s appointment, the pediatrician gave us a prescription for a rash on her face. We had never noticed the rash before. I actually didn’t even realize I was filling the prescription for a rash cream until the pharmacist explained what it was for. I looked back at Precious in the back seat. She didn’t have a rash on her cheeks. Later that day we realized when Jason’s scratchy beard brushes against her cheeks she gets a red dotted rash. It doesn’t last long but he must have been kissing on her cheeks right before the doctor walked into the exam room. Now, I always smile when I see a dotted patch on her cheek. She has a daddy who adores her.

We’re part of a system (as foster parents) where good dads are rare…in birth families and in foster homes. A friend just loaned Jason the book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know by Meg Meeker. He’s not much of a book reader but he dove into it immediately. I noticed as I was falling asleep that his eyes were full of tears as he read. I wasn’t sure if he was going to end up brokenhearted or fired up, ready to fight for his daughter.

As far as policies go, the department of chilren’s services doesn’t prefer a mother/father household over a single parent household. Jason feels such a heavy burden for Precious (and he also did for Ladybug) knowing that he will probably be the only daddy she ever has. There are a lot of wonderful single parents out there who are doing a great job raising their children and fostering children and I admire them for all they do on their own. But statistically, there is no question that it’s better for children to grow up with a mother AND a father. The statistics for girls who grow up without strong fathers in Meeker’s book are…repulsive.

It’s just one more thing that burdens our hearts to think of Precious being taken from our home.

Oh sweet girl, we are doing everything we can to fight for you.


5 Responses to Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

  1. Lorraine Mory says:

    Ah, this breaks my heart. Jason is such a good Daddy!

  2. SusanV says:

    Your posts the last few days have been amazing. I mean, that you have been so real and so raw and it is really letting “us” (the people who love you, but can’t physically be there) feel the emotions, anxiety, pain, and love that you are going through. And we’re thinking about you. And praying for you. And our eyes are filled with tears right along with you.

    • mahlbrandt says:

      Thanks Susan! It really means a lot that friends near and far (and even people who only know us through this blog) are following along, supporting us and praying for us. We’re very blessed to have people who care.

  3. Maria says:

    Oh Martina! Be strong. I’m currently going to therapy for issues… and my psychiatry also feels very strong on the dad-daughter relationship and how it impacts even as an adult. My dad lived in another city, so we barely see each other…and it seems that jeopardize a lot of my personality. Oh well! At least I’m working to improve myself. Feel proud because you two are a very strong couple!

  4. […] friend Susan commented the other day that my posts lately have been so real and so raw…letting you all feel the emotions, anxiety, […]

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