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Red Sunrise

Most days I write posts ahead of time so they’re ready first thing in the morning but it didn’t work out last night. We’ve had a rough few days around here. We learned earlier this week that Ladybug will likely be moved with a family member next week. That alone would be plenty difficult. But, there is a disagreement between the decision-making judge and the recommendations from children’s services. That adds anger and frustration on top of the sadness. We’re trying hard to stay positive and enjoy every moment we can with our little lady in the next 7 days.

I know God is with us, with Ladybug and with her family. I know He cares about all of us and what is best for us. The Lord is faithful, He will never abandon us and He does not make mistakes. But He didn’t promise a bump-free ride. Every morning when I wake up, the sun is reflecting through our bathroom window and french door onto the wall across from our bed. The light is usually bright yellowish white. Today it was red. Sure enough, when I got up I saw that the sun peeking above the tree line was bold red. There is a storm coming…

(I didn’t think of taking a picture at the time. The one above shows what it USUALLY looks like.)

Please pray with us that the right decision is made to keep Ladybug safe and healthy. Also, please pray for peace and strength for all of us to face whatever we have to face next Thursday.

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7 Responses to Red Sunrise

  1. Annie says:

    I am so sorry Martina. That is almost the exact same thing with our Sweet Potato (only not family). It’s hard when EVERYONE who has met you and the child wants them to stay with you, but that stinkin, think’s he knows best, judge switches it up.

    But you have the right attitude and you are right. There is a reason she won’t be staying with you and you will only find out why (possibly) in the future.

  2. Bella says:

    Oh my… Sometimes I wonder if the courts push the whole “the child should be with blood relatives” thing a little too far…

    Remember that GOD is the ultimate judge. He holds sweet little Ladybug in the palm of His hand, and He will protect her.

    Praying for you all!

    • I’m so sorry, and I’m definitely praying for you all. I’m glad I came across your blog today. My husband and I are fostering twin two-year-olds, if you can imagine! They have been with us only seven weeks, and as their birth mom is getting back on track, I just have this continual crushing knowledge that they’re going to leave, and I’m not going to be able to do this anymore. They are our sixth and seventh foster placements. I really thought I would be better at the whole temporariness of this, but I suck at it.

      Anyway, I don’t only have gloomy things to say! I’m reading this book called Radical, and for the most part, it’s one of those books that makes you feel horrible about everything in life and is not wildly enjoyable. But one thing he said did help this week, and maybe it will help you too:

      “The problem for us is that we are tempted at every turn to trust in our own power. So the challenge for us is to live in such a way that we are radically dependent on and desperate for the power that only God can provide.”

      I substituted the words “own power” in my head for “judges, lawyers, caseworkers, etc.” Anyway, I hope everything turns out even better than you could’ve imagined.

      Chazley

  3. Just prayed. A prayer of frustration over these children who are constantly shuffled. But also a prayer of hope. Knowing that God loves these little ones even more than we do. Hang in there.

  4. Instant Mama says:

    Wow, how crushing. I truly dread the day we hear that mine will be going home, though of course I’d never say that to my bunch. These are the first kids we’ve had so I haven’t gone through the “giving them up” stage yet. I try to think about all the nice things I’ll be able to do again (sleep in, shop for fun, stay up late, travel with my husband, etc.). Somehow it all seems small though when compared to the difference I’ve already seen in their lives and the knowledge that more than likely they’ll revert back to bad habits, out-of-control behavior, and bad grades. But like you, I must trust that God wouldn’t let it happen unless good can still come out of it. But who knows – you may see her again, and I could adopt mine! Only time will tell for sure.

    • Martina says:

      I do the same thing… I keep trying to think positively about the things we’ll be able to do as childless adults again. And of course it is all small and petty compared to the hugeness of parenting a child. We will get through it, all of us. I know that God has good plans for all three of us and He does not make mistakes.

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