What’s in a Name?

09/04/2012

Sometime before Jason and I became foster parents—when we were still assuming we’d have kids the usual way—we decided that we’d name our first daughter Anna. I’m a name lover. I’ve been keeping lists of favorite names for as long as I can remember and it was on my list. Anna means gracious.

My dad’s mother’s name was Anna Maria. She was a lovely Swedish woman, kind, gentle, generous, encouraging. She also had a sweet tooth that led her to hide Nilla wafers in her bedroom, even after she had diabetes and was not allowed to have sweets. She was spunky like that. I can understand because I’m a lot like her. When she was younger, she decided she wanted her name to sound more America so she went by Ann Marie. I’ve always loved the name Anna, though.

Jason’s dad’s mom is named Anna Mae. She’s the last remaining grandparent between the both of us. Sadly, we don’t see her very often because we live so far away. I don’t know her well but she seems like a lovely woman, too. Jason’s grandfather often called her by her first and middle name together so Jason was particularly fond of also using Mae. Mae doesn’t really mean anything other than the month of May, but a friend told me it means beautiful in Mandarin Chinese (with different spelling). I haven’t confirmed it but it works for me.

Anna Mae. 

Gracious Beautiful.

Jump ahead. We accepted that as foster parents, we probably won’t be renaming our kids unless the circumstances are right. Then, much to our surprise we were placed with a 2-month-old and learned quickly that we’d be adopting her. We could have changed her name to anything we wanted and it would not have been much of a transition for her. But as it turned out, we really liked her original first name. (I’m purposely not stating it here.)  Before we filed her adoption paperwork we milled around many different possibilities of how we could modify her name without totally changing it. I wrote out our top choices on the chalkboard door of her bedroom. Seeing them scratched out there, the solution was obvious.

Alianna Mae.

We took the first part of her original name and added our favorite name behind it. We had gotten used to calling her Ali for short and didn’t want to completely replace her first name. As a nice surprise, Mae not only sends a nod towards my name, it also honor’s Ali’s birth mom’s name. I cannot think of a more perfect name for our beautiful daughter, a gracious gift from God.

(Cross stitch art above was made by my mother-in-law, Grandma K, as an adoption day gift.)


Precious’ 1st Birthday

07/31/2012

Our big family vacation was planned on the same week as Precious’ first birthday before we knew she existed, but it worked out great to have her aunts, uncles and cousins from my side (who all live in Eastern PA) to be there to celebrate with her. I had no intentions of having a BIG first birthday celebration for her, because I like the idea of keeping birthdays for little ones as small family get togethers. We kept it super simple with homemade cupcakes (decorated by Jason and me), party hats, blowers and balloons, and a special handmade banner that I sewed a few days before our trip. It says “HOORAY” so we can use it for many occasions in the future.

Precious, who loves music, looked at us very strangely as we sang Happy Birthday. The majority of us can’t carry a tune, so… Sorry, Baby.

She knew exactly what to do with that cupcake though…

She also got all sorts of neat gifts. This photo-dump is to document and give thanks where it’s due!

Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, for the puzzle and neighborhood wagon!

Thank you, Uncle Jeff, Aunt Jess and Iris, for the Eric Carle books, wooden Costa Rica puzzle and the play breakfast set!

Thank you, Uncle Aaron, Aunt Laura and Eli, for the new clothes and pull frog toy!

The party girl.

Party cousins: Eli and Iris.

My brother Aaron and his boy Eli.

My sister Jess and her girl Iris.

My sibs and their families had to leave the day of her birthday so we had a little bit of celebration the next day, too, on Precious’ actual birthday. We gave her a set of musical toys.

Thank you, Uncle Steve, Aunt Char and Aiden for the gifts you sent. She LOVES My Pal Violet and she’s getting the hang of the sippy cups.

Jason programmed Violet to say and spell her name and mention her favorite food, color and animal. (We took our best guesses: peaches, green and alligator!)

When Precious joined our family at 2 months old her toenails were painted green. After I took that off, I decided then that I’d wait until her first birthday to paint her toenails again. Light pink!

And one last photo…Jason and Precious waiting for her birthday dinner on our last night of vacation.

Happy Birthday, Ali-gator! I hope you enjoyed your celebration. We love you so much!


Happy 1st Birthday, Beautiful Girl!

07/20/2012

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Our joyful, sweet, precious daughter turns 1 year old today. I am so excited to celebrate her today! The joy she brings into my life everyday is way beyond what I had ever imagined. She makes being a mom such a delight.

Dear daughter, you are one year old today. We missed out on the first 9 weeks of your life so I’m sorry that I can’t tell you stories about the day you were born. I know that you weighed 7 lbs. 7 oz. because I saw it on a slip of paper once and it caught my eye because I was also born at 7 lbs. 7 oz. I know you were born on July 20, 2011 by C-section and I know your first mom loved you very much. Though I can’t tell you much about your first two months, so much has happened between 2 months old and 12 months old. Someday we’ll tell you all about it, and the beautiful, bumpy road that led us into becoming a family of three. Our lives will never be the same because of you, and we would never want to go back to the way it was before. People often talk about parenting being about giving, and while it’s true that we give everything we’ve got towards being your parents, you have given us back so much. You bring sunshine and laughter and smiles into our home everyday. You are constantly learning new things and encouraging us to get down on the floor and experience the world from your perspective. I have no doubt that God has tremendous plans for your life, sweet daughter, and I’m looking forward to journeying along side you for as long as you need me. Guess how much I love you. “I love you right up to the moon—and back.” Love, Mama


Precious’ First Guitar Lesson

07/10/2012

Jason is very protective of his guitars. Normally he wouldn’t allow a child to touch them but he made an except for a particular chubby handed baby girl when we did the photography for his Acoustic Lullabies album cover.

Now, she’s eager to get her hands on it again. This time she’s studying how Jason plays. Precious loves music. If she hears Jason playing she’ll crawl across the room as fast as she can, climb up his legs (sometimes pulling leg hair—ouch!) and try to get to the guitar.

Her daddy sweetly lets her touch and pluck the strings, trying to figure out how they make the lovely sounds they make while he plays.


My Lovely Girl

03/15/2012

Everyday I’m in awe—not just with how stinkin’ adorable my daughter is (of course, I’m biased)—but that I get to be her mom. I’m fully aware that things could have turned out very differently for us all. Thankful doesn’t seem like big enough of a word.

This journey hasn’t been easy. We had some really trying times back in October and November. But everything now is so…easy. And fun. Do you see that giant smile? Everyday we get to soak up that joy that oozes out of her and we could almost forget how difficult things were at the beginning with the DCS drama. And like her older half-sister, she could have been bounced around from foster home to foster home before being adopted. But we are thankful for the way this chapter is turning out. We are thankful for her. And thankful for this season of fun and easy.

I’m eager to get back into foster parenting. Having our home “closed” is hard. Even though it’s the easy road. It’s hard because we signed up for the challenge; and now we’re not doing it. I suppose in a way we’re still doing it. Precious came to us through foster care (though she ended up being removed from state custody and put into our custody) and we still haven’t finalized her adoption…but it just doesn’t feel like we’re doing enough about the foster care situation. There are so many kids still out there in our city that need good foster parents. And I want to help.

I probably need this forced break more than I want to admit. It’s time for the three of us—me, Jason and Precious—to bond as a family. We were still reeling from the situation with Ladybug in a lot of ways and this break from foster parenting gave us time to process all of those feelings. By the time our new home is finished and we’re ready to reopen (late summer or fall, hopefully), Precious will be over a year old. We will be a very different family than we were last July (when we were first certified) and it was just Jason and me. There are a lot of things to think about and different ways to prepare this time. We have our daughter to think about now—what is healthy and safe for her—when we consider welcoming new kids into our family.

Sorry for the rambling. I’m sleepy and I was just going to post pictures to publish in the morning. Then I decided to pour my thoughts out and try to make sense of them here. I don’t have a neat little conclusive bow for this. I’m very thankful for our daughter and I’m thinking a lot about our future as foster parents.


Hanging Out: Spring Swings and an Adoption Update

03/06/2012

We took Precious to the playground for the first time last week since the weather has been reaching into the upper 60s and low 70s more frequently here in Nashville. She seemed to really enjoy the swings. Not much reaction to the slide and that’s about all she’s big enough for yet. So lots of swing pictures pictures…

I haven’t given an update on our adoption situation in a while, mainly because not much is happening. Later this month we’ll be celebrating our 6-month familiversary (a term I got from the Foster Parent Podcast) and Precious will be 8 months old. We were anticipating being able to finalize her adoption around the 6-month point but now it seems we’ll be waiting two more months…until the beginning of May. At the earliest. We did everything we were supposed to do. Got our home study done in less than a month and our attorney submitted everything to the court. And then we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, the judge’s clerk got back to our attorney to let us know they would start the process of publication* in order to terminate Precious’ biological father’s parental rights. This week. And the process takes 8 weeks. It feels like the papers were just sitting around in a stack in the courthouse for over a month. It’s frustrating to be stuck in this waiting period—just hanging out in limbo—for an indefinite amount of time.

But we could be in such a different situation that we’re in right now, and that perspective keeps us in thankful mode rather than impatient mode. We have full custody of Precious, she’s with us everyday, we’re her parents, we’re not in any real risk of losing her—we’re very blessed. Situations don’t often turn out this rosy. But that finalization is going to feel so good. Everything will be permanent and official then. We’ll get a new birth certificate for her with our names on it as her parents and a new name for her—which I plan to reveal here once it’s a done deal. She’ll take our last night, get a new middle name and keep the same first name. We’re just changing the spelling of her first name slightly because her biological mom gave her a beautiful name and we’d like her to keep it. But a little modification will allow us to incorporate in our favorite family name as well as honoring her original name and her history.

*In case you’re really interested in adoption and foster parenting technical processes, here’s an explanation of “publication” as best as I understand it here in Tennessee. When a biological parent is unidentified or his/her whereabouts is unknown, every effort needs to be made to find him/her. There is a Punitive Fatherhood Registry in Tennessee where a father can post that he is looking for a biological child. A child’s information is submitted and if it matches a father on the list, more information/testing can be done to see if they’re a match. If there is no match there, the next step is to run an ad in a public newspaper for 4 weeks. I think the ad says something like, “If you are looking for your child, born on blank, please contact blank for more information.” Pretty vague for the child’s protection. The parent has 30 days to respond to the ad. If no one comes forward and no match is found any other way, the adoption process moves forward and the biological parent’s parental rights are terminated.

So that’s where we’re at. We’re just waiting. Hanging out. Having fun. Going about our day to day lives with our precious 7.5 month old little sweetie pie. And being thankful everyday. She makes my life much richer, messier and so much more joyful…